Lonely/ Dorbyn

30

CORBYNS POV
I wake up and I remember that I came to see Jonah yesterday. I look around and I see him. Jonah's still sleeping so I just look at him. I climb on top of him and kiss him. Jonah wakes up and kisses me back.
Jo: good morning
C: morning. I wanted to talk to you about something.
Jo: about what?
C: us.
Jo: what about us.
C: Jonah, I don't want you to get hurt.
Jo: I won get hurt. Corbyn I know my limits.
C:  no jo I know my ways. I'll hurt you eventually.
Jo: and I'm willing to make that sacrifice Corbyn. Ok?
C: ok.

I hug jonah and I head downstairs. Something feels off so I head back upstairs. I knocked on Daniel's door. I just look at him.
C: look I know you hate me but something hs like wrong.
D: you mean besides the fact that your abusing weed and sleeping with my best friend?
C: I don't even know why I asked you to help me.
I looked down with tears in my eyes. I turn around to try to pull myself together. It doesn't work. I find myself struggling to breathe. I turn around to face Daniel. 
C: I know you hate me and I don't know why. You left me Daniel! So yeah I abuse weed and alcohol and it's because of you! I wanted you to marry me! But you left! Just like everyone else did! And I know when something isn't right. I don't know when you are going to grow up. I'm
Fine and I've got my problems under control. Just forget it.
D: I'm sorry. I just didn't love you anymore.
C: yeah and I know that. You don't have to run it in every chance you get. You destroyed me. I trusted you. So yeah I broke Scott's heart and I'm sleeping with Jonah. Oh and before you say anything, I know. I knew how miserable you were with me but I wanted you to stay but guess what? You left! And the worst part is that you promised that you wouldn't leave. Now I know that promises are meant to be broken. Especially one made by you. So yeah I abuse weed. It helps me cope and not think about you or anything else.
D: I'm sorry Corbyn..
C: yeah sure. Look I gotta go I told Jonah I'd be    back soon.
D: ok.
C: I'm sorry for wasting you time. And by that I mean every moment you spent with me.

I walk away with tears flowing down my face. I open jonahs bedroom door and I just look at him. I start to fall apart. I am crying and Jonah's trying to keep me from collapsing on the ground.
C: it just hurts. Why can't the pain go away!
Jo: I know baby I know.
C: I just can't do it anymore.
Jo: you have to try. For the kids and well, us.
C: Jonah I'm sorry I'm just stressed.
Jo: it's ok corbs.
C: I need a blunt..
Jo: I don't think that's a good idea.
C: you didn't have a problem with it when you were fucking me? So why now Jonah?
Jo: because your abusing weed.
C: did you hear Daniel's and my conversation?
Jo:no.
C: funny because he said the same thing.

I light the blunt that I just finished rolling and take a long puff off of it.
C: don't do this to me now jo. We were having fun.
Jo: I don't want to.
C: fine. We don't have to fuck I just want to smoke with you. You don't even have to do that. I just- I need to know that your still here. Everyone else is gone. Daniel,Scott, and now you? I can't loose you Jonah. I choose not to. I've already lost Zach too. I just can't. I lost jack a while ago. Your the only one I have left. If I loose you, I loose everything. If I loose you, I loose myself and you will probably never hear from me again. This isn't blackmail either. The look on your face is concerning me tho.

Jo: I can't keep doing this Corbs. I can't.
C: fine. I'll go. I'll leave you alone.
Jo: Corbyn.
C: No! Just don't.

I grab my blunts and head to my room to pack a suitcase. I pack most of my clothes that weren't in boxes and I drag the suitcase downstairs and walk out of the door. As I'm putting my suitcase in the car and I see Zach.

C: don't bother trying to talk me into staying. I'll sign full custody of the kids to Daniel and Scott. I'm for fit enough to be a parent.
Z: I. I'm sorry.
C: don't be I bought this on nobody but myself. I'll have to live with that now.

I get in my cart and welcome to hell zone starts to play on the radio.
But there's no medicine you know the cure
I just think that if things were different nothing would be so messed up. I feel a tear slip out of my eye. I just keep driving. Eventually I pull over because it's really dark. I check into a motel and I grab my bag.

I check into my hotel room and I light a blunt and heat two brownies. I decided to eat a third brownie and smoke another blunt. I look around and I immediately call Jonah.

CONVERSATION WITH JONAH

Jo: look I told you that I didn't want to do anything with you.
C: Jonah I have no idea where I ammm.
Jo: why are you doing this to your body?
C: because Jonah. I have nothing to live for. All of my money will go to my kids. Spilt 5 ways. Are you write this down. Scott and Daniel will have shared custody over Liam and Laura.
Jo: Corbyn where are you..
C: I don't know I think I'm still in California I drove all day.
Jo: Corbyn please don't do this.
C: I have to Jonah. Nobody will even care!
Jo: Damnit Corbyn I will! Daniel and Scott are gonna feel very guilty. Zach is gonna feel broken and damaged. Jack. This will destroy him. He wasn't really close with you but he still cares.
C: that's not true. Stop lying to me Jonah.
Jo: Corbyn please.

I hear that Jonah is crying.
C:ok ok I'll be home by morning. Text me in the morning and I'll come home. I keep my word.
Jo: Just come home.

THE NEXT DAY
CORBYNS POV

I wake up and see a text message from Jonah. I hop in my car and I drive back to the house.
When I get there I see Jonah sitting on the couch just looking at the floor. I have no idea what I said but it hurt him.
C: hey.
J: Corbyn.
C: Jonah look I-

Jonah cuts me off by kissing me and I kiss back.
Jo: I missed you. I'm sorry that I pushed you away.
C: it's not your fault. It's mine.
Jo: let's go upstairs and sleep ok?
C: I think that's for the best.

Jonah and I head upstairs and I lay down on his bed and he just kisses me.
C:what was that for?
Jo: for keeping your word. I don't know what I would've done.

I noticed tears falling from his face. I just pull him closer and we both start to cuddle.

C: I didn't want to leave. Hey think I need help.
Jo: no matter what you do I'll support you.
C: Thank you. Thank you Jonah for just being here.
We both fall asleep and I'm laying on his chest.

THE NEXT DAY
CORBYN'S POV

I wake up on Jonah's chest and I just whimper. I feel a tear run down my face. Jonah wakes up and hears me whimper.
Jo: what's wrong.
C: I can't do it anymore!

I just burst into tears.

Jo: Can't do what?
C: Pretend! Pretend that I'm ok! To see pretend that I'm not just using you. To pretend to be worth someone's time. To not feel useless or powerless! I feel like I'm loosing my mind!
Jo: but corbs your not using me, nor useless. Your not ok your worth my time and your not useless to me.
C: yeah you say that now but one day you'll call me useless just like Daniel,Zach, Scott, my on dad.
Jo: bub you can't blame yourself for everything that happened to you.
C: yes I can! Because I was useless! I wasn't wanted. I wasn't loved!

At this point I'm screaming at Jonah and I'm crying so people come to the door. Daniel came first, then Zach, then Scott and then Jack.

D: you are loved.
C: How can I trust anything you say? You left me! You told me you didn't love me and how useless I was!
Zach: you are loved Corbyn.
C: I don't believe you.
Scott: you are loved Corbyn. Whether you like it or not. Suck it up and stop being a little bitch because you can't get what you want.

I look at Jonah. He sees my eyes glow red.
Jo: no Corbyn!
C: I'm gonna kill him.
I am pulled back by Jonah and I walk away.
I head back into the room with Jonah.
Jo: hey baby.
C: hey.
Jonah kisses me and pulls me closer to him. I moan into the kiss and then pull away.
C: what was that for.
Jo: you needed it.
C: you think so?
Jo: I know so.
C: can we just lay here and cuddle. I just don't wanna be alone and I'm really tired.
Jo: No problem baby just relax. I'll stay with you ok?
C: ok goodnight Jo. I'm scared.
Jo: goodnight baby. Now get some rest. Of what?
C: of everything that's happening right now.
Jo: you're going to get through it. I promise.

Jonah and I just lay there until both of us fall asleep.