Needs- N.B. & D.D

Chapter 10: The Doctor

Since Dixie's treatment stopped she hasn't gone to the doctor. People advised her to, in fact, everyone did, and not for a bad reason. There is still a chance that she could, in simple words, get it again. This is also the reason why she didn't listen to everyone. She was terrified of the thought of going through that torture again. She wasn't even sure how she got through it the first time.

Dixie didn't want to feel weak because of other people because she already felt weak enough. She didn't show it when she was getting treatment, but she was hurting. More than she was letting anyone see. People did hurt her, especially Adam, but she hurt herself. As tough as she looked, she was just a pile of melted goo on the inside.

Going to the doctor just reminded her of all the miserable times that she put in the past. She doesn't like to think much about it, knowing it's a sensitive topic. She also didn't want to hide things from Noah. There are lots of things he doesn't know yet, and maybe he never will know them, but adding more is just harder for Dixie.

She was like an open book when it came to Noah. Whatever face she would make, he could tell what was up, even the slightest bit of change in here voice revealed when she wasn't okay or hiding something. Hiding the fact that she even had cancer in the first place was heard enough, there's no way she could even begin to think about hiding even more.

The only solution is to tell Noah, to come clean. But we all know that's not gonna happen, at least not soon. As much as her friendship with Noah was growing, she still didn't completely trust him. After all, they still barely even know each other, even after all the time they've spent together.

Speaking of not knowing each other, it's not like they haven't made any efforts. It just, they're both very closed off people, so whenever questions that they don't wanna answer come around, they both get defensive, there for causing the question to get unanswered, multiple times. They may be somewhat let down with each other, but they are are lot, and I mean a lot, of things they don't know. Things they definitely should know.

Anyways, going back to the doctor. Dixies been thinking about getting one in Washington. As much as it would hurt her, it's a good idea. Especially because the risk of her getting again is still there. The only problem is, drumroll please, Noah. She doesn't want to hide this from him, but yet again, she also doesn't want him to know. Because of many reasons actually. She doesn't want him feeling like he needs to care and be there for her, but then she's also scared that he's not going to care, like at all. There are multiple possibilities, and that makes it so much more scary.

But maybe she should. This is an emotional roller coaster. There are many reason she should, maybe even more than the reasons why she shouldn't. Should she do it?

Dixies POV: I should do it, I know I should. Im just scared. Going to the doctor again means moving to Washington was for nothing. I moved here to get away from the doctor, and people who constantly reminded me that there's nothing I can do. But at the same time, maybe it doesn't have to mean that. I guess I'm just scared, because as much as I would like to say I put all of that in my past, I still don't thing I have, completely at least.

I also don't want Noah thinking the exact same thing those other people thought. But I also don't want to hide this from him. He deserves to know, I've already been hiding this from him long enough. Noah's my only friend here, the only person I can somewhat rely on. I don't want to lose him. So thats why deciding this is so much harder than it should be.

Noahs the only person who has actually accepted me for the person that I am, not someone who people thought I became. He may not know the truth yet, but he still the only person who sees a strong, independent, sexy woman. Maybe worrying is the last thing I need to do, at least about Noah.

---

"Hey dix. You wanted to talk?" Here goes. Telling Noah's been long awaited, it needs to be done. "Yeah, I actually have something serious to talk about, so you should probably sit." He chuckled lightly at my statement, sitting down afterwards. "Please don't tell me your breaking of this friends with benefits thing. Because if so I will lit-"

Honestly I should've expected that, Noah can be quite immature at times. "Noah, I'm serious." I needed to make sure he knew this conversation wasn't some joke. If I was going to tell him about the only thing that always made me feel like less than I am, I needed to get all of his attention, to make sure he really was listening to every single thing I say.

"Okay, okay. I am too." He crossed his hands and took a deep breath. You can do this Dixie. "Noah, I've been hiding something from you." I sat down beside him, facing him and all of his beautiful features. It makes me feel better about what I have to say.

"Before I moved to Washington I lived in Florida. I moved because everyone I had around me, made we feel weak and useless." His face turned more serious at the statement. "Why?" I was glad to see how serious he actually was, it made this a lot less scary.

"I had cancer Noah. My treatment stopped 8 months ago." I was going to find a more sophisticated way to say this but at the end of the day it all means the same thing. I was sick. "W-what?" I could tell by his worried expression, he was shocked. That was probably the last thing he thought he was going to hear.

"I got diagnosed 2 years ago with breast cancer. Metastatic breast cancer to be exact. The most harmful one. I don't know how I survived it, but when I did, i moved as far away as possible." Noah started lightly caressing my cheek with his hand. "D-dix... why didn't you tell me sooner?"

I melted at his words. You could tell how much he cared just by all the questions and all his movements. "I- I was scared you were going react like everyone else around me. My family and ex all made it about them. How much they were suffering because I was sick. They never once actually cared. I know your not like that, but I just didn't know if I should risk it. I'm sorry."

He grabbed me and pulled me over him, sitting on his lap, facing him. "You don't ever have to be sorry for that. I'm sorry you had to go through. But just remember, I will never make you feel that way, I swear." He kissed me lightly. He's never kissed me this soft before, and I really wish he had. The amount of passion in this small kiss was all I needed to survive in this world.

I kissed back, it was an instinct at this point. "Thank you Noah." Our foreheads were touching as we looked at each other. "Anytime dix." He kissed me again, deepening the kiss a little, but still keeping it just as passionate. "Now, how bout be get some ice cream?" I smiled, probably looking very stupid.

"Yes please." I got off of Noah, getting my stuff. He grabbed my hand and we left the apartment.

---

"You sure your ready for this. It's a big step." He asked me again. "Yes I'm sure. It's what I need to do."'I kiss him lightly, focusing my attention back in the room we were in. "Dixie Damelio."

Hey guys:) as many requested needs is the first to get updated. This is a huge chapter in this book, and it will majorly change Dixie and Noah's "relationship". Hope you guys are ready for that!! Love you all soo much<3
Word count: 1399