Chapter 13: Closer

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Dixies POV: Everyday, Noah and I's relationship just seemed to get stronger. I didn't have him over just for my pleasure, or for his. I genuinely liked having him by my side. Telling him about drama at work. And expressing my feelings, since I have no one else.

This whole friends with benefits thing, really helped me in multiple ways. I've stopped drinking and going out. And my mental health has increased majorly. I find myself in moments where I'm so happy, I'm confused. I never thought that some hookup at a bar, would get me this far.

But honestly, I'm not complaining. I've grown to be quite fond of Noah. He's the only person I have to talk to. The person who supports me, and comforts me while I'm struggling. The person who deals with all of my bullshit, and still decides to stay. I never thought our relationship would ever get this for.

If I'm being completely honest, I thought that out little fling was going to send as soon as he found another girl. And I was fine with that. In fact I was prepared for that to happen. But now, after spending the best few months with him, my heart hurts at the thought of him completely ditching me.

I have, slowly, grown to become very attached to him. I find myself smiling at the smallest things, like his forward kisses while we're hugging. Or the way he pays full attention to me, even though what I'm talking about is ridiculous. I have become so used to him being around me constantly, that I get sad at the thought of him leaving. Even if it's just for a few minutes.

We have gotten so much closer in such a little amount of time. I tell him things that I have never told anyone. Things that I barley wanted to think about myself. He has sort of become my safe space if that makes any sense. I know that I have him by my side, and if I need it, he would be there to help me with whatever.

I've actually told him this. But he refused to believe what I'm saying is true. He'll never truly understand how much he means to me, because even I don't know yet. My feelings for him only seem to grow for him by the day. I said I wouldn't, but I'm falling for him. And a lot harder than I would've or could've ever thought.

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"How was my favorite person after 2 days of not seeing me?"Noah chuckled as he made his way towards me, opening his arms wide for me to run into. Which I gladly did by the way. "Miserable." I shrugged my shoulders after leaving his arms. It was so boringggg.

"Then I'll just have to make sure to not leave you alone anymore." He smiled after his statement. I love his smile. It's one of my favorite things about him. "Sounds like a plan." I kissed his cheek, knowing he loved when I did that. Could you tell we were touchy?

"Any updates on your mom." He asked me, as if he was hoping I would say yes. "Yeah, she emailed me again. Basically saying she was sorry she reached out, knowing that I didn't want anything to do with her anymore." Not going to lie, I smiled at the email. Because at least this way she understands that the relationship between her and me, it completely over, and it will never be fixed.

"Did you respond to her?" He hit up and got a water from the fridge. I love how he made himself at home when he came over. "No. I didn't feel like I needed to. She understands my wishes. There was nothing else to be said." I took a deep breath. "Also, if I would've responded, she would've looked at it as if I was allowing her back into my life. And I'm not going to let that happen."

He sighed. I know he wants me to talk to my mom. And I get why. But the days of her in my life are over. And they've been over for a while now. I don't need her in my life. And she never needed me. She always made that very clear. "I get it." He wrapped his arms around me. His hugs made me feel at home. Something about them just made me feel safe, and content.

"Wanna take a nap. I'm tired." He looked at me with puppy dog eyes. This was just his excuse to get cuddle. But I'm not complaining. I love his cuddles. Because just like his hugs, they make me happy. I feel safe in his arms. Like they are the only place I will ever need to be.

Which for me, is weird. I used to love physical affection. But my last relationship made me despise it. I hated when people touched my back, or even shook my hand. I never liked cuddling either. It just never felt right, and I preferred to sleep on my own. But something about cuddling with Noah always felt different. I feel so comfortable.

Since we've started hanging out, I've actually gotten better sleep since he started to stay over. I wake up happy, smiling because I'm still in his arms, even after the whole night. Getting to see him sleep, while holding me, still gives me butterflies. He was just so precious and perfect.

He has become a part of me know. I need him to sleep, eat, smile. Soon I'm going to need him to breath. I'm go to need all of him. Soon, I'm gonna give him my heart. And he's going to have it before I even have the chance to think about it. Because in reality, I'm already giving it to him.

And as scared as that makes me. It also makes me happy, knowing that even after all the pain that I have gone through, I was able to find someone who put me back together. Someone who I would gladly give my all to, knowing he would do the same.

I think I love you Noah Beck. But you can't know that. Not yet.

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Not much to say other than I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Aren't they soooo cutttee?!? I love you guys!! Mwuuahhhh<33
Word count: 1068

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