"Damn it." I threw the bottle on the floor which shattered into a million pieces.
"Woah! Relax man! Who shoved a stick up your ass huh?" Skipping through the glass shreds, Ryan climbed up and sat on the kitchen counter.
"So , why did you call? I was busy." He poured himself a glass of water.
"Busy as in?" I raised my eyebrows at him.
"Busy as in you don't need to know." He passed a sarcastic grin causing me to roll my eyes.
"Tell me why did you call?"
"I can't think properly anymore. I will become mad." I spoke as I kept pacing about the room.
"You mean, you weren't already?" I stopped walking to give him a murderous glare. Inching closer to him I put my finger up while speaking to him.
"Be serious Ryan. It's very important." I said in a low voice. He brought his face closer and with wide eyes spoke.
"Well what is so important?" He whispered back mockingly making me realise that I was whispering too like there were other people in the room. Rolling my eyes at him, I moved away before resuming my walk.
"Everything's so confused inside my head that I don't even know where to start from."
"From the start?" I clicked my tongue in annoyance.
"Just shut up and listen to me."
"Okay, I will but first stop pacing about like a stupid lion and sit calmly, will you?" I pulled a chair and sat down opposite him.
"Now speak." He clapped his hands in fake excitement. Nevertheless I ignored his antics and decided to speak.
"So today, I went to Brae's place-" I was cut off by a now very serious looking Ryan.
"Don't tell me you insulted her more! I will have your head, I am telling you." He threatened, sitting straight.
"I didn't. I did no such thing. Will you listen to me patiently?" I asked, annoyed to be cut off.
"Okay, go on."
"You are saying you fed with your own fucking hands? And you two actually kissed?" He asked dumbly, like he was trying to grasp the situation.
"Yes. I don't know why. Okay, I said I'm not over her but that doesn't mean I will do all this. I don't know why I care so much? Why do I feel this unnerving guilt for hurting her, why I feel hurt everytime she cries? Fucking why?" I frustratedly threw my hands in the air.
"When we kissed today I felt- it - it was special, strangely comfortable, it felt correct. I couldn't feel any awkwardness or regret. In fact I liked every moment of it but I shouldn't have. It's not normal. She left me at the altar for crying out loud." A mixture of emotions were storming me. I was angry at the memory of our past, at Brae, frustrated at myself for being so pathetically confused and irritated at Ryan who kept on staring like a pig. Sighing I put my head in my hands and closed my eyes.
"Wow!" I raised my face up to look at Ryan who was staring off dreamily into space.
"Wow? Seriously? " I looked at him as if he was stupid. After all I said , he let out a 'wow'?
"No, I am just shocked. I mean I knew that this was gonna happen sooner or later but still.." He trailed off his face holding a happy yet shocked expression.
"What do you mean by knowing it?" I scrunched up my nose.
"See, this was bound to happen. I mean look at both of you. You haven't moved on. Neither has she. She is still struck on you. So…" He trailed off shrugging like he said the most logical thing on Earth.
"She ? Struck on me? That's some real bullshit." I shook my head, feeling the hurt of my own words. It hurt that she didn't love me.
"You feel so?" Ryan folded his arms against his chest.
"There's nothing to feel. If you actually forgot, let me remind you, she left me. She loved someone else. Why would she do that if she felt for me?" He clicked his tongue , shaking his head.
"I didn't ask for your reasoning. I asked, what do you feel?''
"She said those words loud and clear. It doesn't matter what I feel." I huffed out loudly.
"It does. It does matter. If you had trusted in your feelings you would have known she still loves you." I scoffed at his words.
"You don't trust it, right ? Then tell me why wasn't she angry at you for what you did today? If you believe that she had no feelings then she probably wouldn't have said it out of guilt for what she did five years back. Then why?" He looked at me as if hopeful that he had successfully made me understand everything but my statement filled his face with disappointment.
"I don't know why." I shrugged , creasing my forehead in an attempt to make out what he was hinting at.
"Because Brae had and till date has feelings for you. She is guilty of hurting you, she can't bring herself to blame you." His words did make a lot of sense but the only thing that didn't sit well with it was Brae's actions.
"I don't understand. If she loved me , then why did she leave me back then? Money? Was it the only important thing for her?" I swear I never felt so messed up in my head in my whole life.
"I swear you're the stupidest man I have ever come across. I never understood how you could believe her dumb lies. She spoke about money, a rich boyfriend, secured life, where are they? Have you seen her walking around dressed like a million dollars? And the last time I checked she wasn't living in a palace either."
"You're right. I haven't even seen her rich boyfriend she had spoken of. But - but why would she lie ? What was the need?" I racked my brain for a single possible reason but found none.
"You have to get your answers from her. Confront her. Do whatever you need to . Just do it." He was right. I had to confront her, find out what she was hiding from me.
Seeing Evan enter his cabin, I immediately started following him. From his gruff angry voice I couldn't expect my day to be peachy. Maybe his caring side is gone again.
"Mr. Lewis, should I tell you about your schedule for today?" Instead of responding he stared at my face as if he was trying to see through me. I cautiously looked at him. God knew what plan he had in mind!
"Should we talk?" I was skeptical of the 'talk'. Nonetheless, I nodded.
"About what ?" I asked, careful not to overstep any boundary.
"About what happened three years back." A dead silence prevailed in the room. He wanted to talk about the past after all these days?
"There is nothing to talk about." I kept a poker face hiding my inner turmoil.
"There isn't?" I shook my head.
I refused to answer at all. Honestly I was conflicted. I wanted to tell him everything, say that I had always loved him but Victoria's words rang in my ears .
"You have done enough damage. Now you're going to leave and if you have even the slightest bit of humanity in yourself then don't ever show your face to him or us."
"Fine, you don't talk. I will." He gestured to me to take a seat opposite him. Hesitantly I did...
YOU ARE READING
Clenching my eyes shut , I let a few fat teardrops roll down my cheeks. The blazing anger in his eyes , the accusations in them were too strong to bear. It literally hurt to look into his steel grey eyes that were now burning with hatred....hatred t...