53| YOU ARE NOT IN CONTROL OF MY LIFE

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"Lila

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"Lila." Rafe said, knocking on the other side of the door, "Your moms let me in, what's going on?"

When he opened the door, he found the girl sitting on the edge of her bed, knees bouncing as she looked down at her lap. When her eyes snapped up, he noticed they were red and she had tear stains along her cheeks. Though she'd stopped crying, it was clear she once was.

"Hey, it's okay." he spoke, walking over and getting down on his knees infront of her. His hands came up to cup her face, searching for a answer, "What happened?"

"I was pregnant." she whispered, her voice low like it had been a secret, "Not long."

Rafe blinked in surprise, "Did you have a-"

"No, miscarried." she said back, leaning on his hands more, "I was gonna though."

Rafe nodded, because he agreed, but he had zero clue what to say, "Are you- are you alright?"

"It kinda hurt." she said back, crossing her legs as the ridiculously large sweater hung over her, "And there was a lot of blood."

Rafe rubbed her thighs from where he still kneeled infront of her.

"I was gonna tell you but a lot has happened." she said back. She was too casual, too off putting. Lila scared him, because he saw so much pain in her eyes yet was lacking more then enough emotions, "I'm sorry."

"That's okay." he shook his head at her, holding her face in his hands, "What do- what do you want me to do?"

Lila shook her head, "Nothing."

He felt guilty, lost, confused.

"Can we never talk about it again?" she asked. In the end, Lila knew she wasn't gonna keep it, nor did she want it. But miscarriage was a experience she never wanted to experience, never wanted to feel or blame herself for. But she'd been good at that, blaming herself, "Unless you wanna talk about it. Like, I don't really know your views on-"

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