SETH (Book Four)

FIFTEEN

The kiss was hot and heavy; I had never kissed anyone before but with Seth's lips; he had experienced a lot, and just thinking about him with other girls made me agitated. I pull him closer, making our bodies touch. His hands snake around my waist, and I feel a tingle. His lips were soft, and I craved more as our tongues intertwined.

"I don't find you repulsive, Terry, "Seth whispers in our kiss. "Otherwise, we wouldn't be kissing."

I didn't respond but continued to kiss him because the drug inside was still active, and I needed fifty percent of it out before things between Seth and me got out of hand. If this does involve removing our clothes, I'm afraid Seth will find out I'm a woman.

A bit sober, I pull apart, and we both mimic each other's breathing. Looking at each different eye, he is hungry for more, but behind those, I remember what he said: his eyes were genuine.

He doesn't see me as a freak. I'm not disgusting to him. The way he responds to my kiss means there is something that can happen. I don't know what I will do if he ever finds out; what will be between us? But until I have Eva and all the Order members are gone. I will confess everything to him.

I help myself up and turn my back. Closing my eyes, I took in my breathing and calmed my heart.

"Terry?" I feel Seth standing behind me. His closeness is causing my heart to engage. "About what we did...I..."

"Don't blame yourself," I cut him mid-sentence. I was not looking at him because I hid my warm, blushed face. I can't believe I did that to him. "I force myself on you. I'm sorry."

I'm sorry, I couldn't be the woman you wanted me to be.

I wanted to tell him, but I didn't have the heart to say it, and something inside me hurt.

I rub my chest where the ache lies above my heart.

Living like this is hard, but I don't regret it. It's my way of saving those before they succumb to the same fate as I was—the nightmare I had to endure. In the darkness, I had to walk. Those kids need a better life, and I will give them that even if it costs my life.

"Would you excuse me? I'll be taking Persephone home," I tell Seth without looking at him and walking out of the house.

"Terry."

I can feel he's upset. He wanted an explanation about this, about what just happened between us. Maybe he did not push me away because I was drugged and violated him. Was it because I was drunk and assumed that my conscience wasn't in its right mind?

I am never drinking again.

I touch my lips. I expected him to shove me off and look at me with disgust. A man and a female pretending to be a male kissed each other, but he accepted the kiss.

Does that mean...he...?

I shake my head out, not wanting to know the answer. "I need to get Persephone out."

I need to leave, too.

I spot her still with the children, but the two Order men are gone. They probably succeeded with the beer tactic or were stupid that I would pass out. It's good that they didn't take the child away, but if I were to stay long in the house, I would have failed my duty to protect her.

I need to find them, I say in my head. Ignoring the painful headache, I turn to the back door when a voice stops me from leaving.

"There you are, Terry," Claire steps before me. "The girls and I were worried about you. Is everything all right?"

Before I could answer, I heard the men call out Seth's name, and I could feel his presence behind me. My heart skipped a beat.

"Seth, darling, the cooler is running out of ice. What took you so long? Don was about to get you and check if you are fooling again." Claire says, and I look away to hide my heated face.