Chapter 16

3.3K 129 4

Your worst battle is between what you know and what you feel.
I am exhausted. It isn't the kind of exhausted where a few extra hours of sleep, or a quick mental break could fix everything. The exhaustion I feel is a whole-body, completely consuming kind. Today is the day my dad left me. Today is the day he decided that there other people in his life that he would rather call family than me. Today is the day that I was deemed unwanted.

I should be used to the fact that he left me by now. Just because I should be, doesn't mean I am. I want my father to see what happened when he left. When he left me for another family he left me in hell. In the long run I know it would do no good for him to know these things, because he doesn't care. That is the harsh truth of reality; Nobody has to care about you. It is a choice someone has to make everyday.

I slowly roll out of bed and check the time. 5;47. The perfect time for a sunrise. For the first time in years, I watch the sunrise. I sit on the porch with a blanket wrapped around me, sipping coffee. Then I can't help but chuckle. I really just unknowingly recreated a scene that happens in almost every family movie. Now all I need is for Cameron and Lily to come running out and destroy that peace. Thankfully that doesn't happen.

The colors of the sunset are so bright, and pretty. It is a mix of oranges, reds and yellows. They come together in the most beautiful of ways and I can't help but awe at the sight.

Twenty minutes later, and I know it is time to head back into the house. I walk through the kitchen to make breakfast. Today is going to be an easy day; cereal. I make fruit loops for them and then head upstairs to get them dressed. I go to Lily first and she isn't in her room, so I go to Camerons. For the first time today I really smile. Cameron and Lily are snuggled up together. Lily is laying in one of Cams arms while he uses the other to read her a book. I walk over and pick Lily up and begin getting her dressed. She is wearing a red dress with black shoes. I let her play on the bed while I get Cameron dressed. He is wearing jeans and a blue t shirt. Then I send them both down to eat and get myself dressed. I am just wearing black ripped jeans, and a sweatshirt.

I head downstairs after brushing my teeth and washing my face

Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.

I head downstairs after brushing my teeth and washing my face. They have both already gotten ready so we can leave. On the way to daycare Cameron talks the whole time and Lily adds in a few jumbled words every now and then, but I can't focus. I know going out is a bad idea. Every year in this day it is an unspoken rule that we stay home, waiting until my punishment time. I can't stay home today because I am worried about Kota. I don't know if anything is going to happen but I was scared.

I drop the kids off with hugs goodbye and begin my way to school. The whole way I am lost in my thoughts and only get knocked out of them when I run into somebody.

"Watch out bitch!" The girl hisses and I recognize who it is. Jade. She is always getting in trouble, and has gym with me.

"Sorry didn't mean to." I mumble and walk away. I look up and see North staring straight at me. I blink and when my eyes open again he is back into a conversation with Silas.

Finding My Permanent FamilyWhere stories live. Discover now