Chapter 47

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My parents are the main cause for my anxiety, exhaustion, and self hatred. All I wanted growing up was for them to love me but they treated me as if they didn't care.
Sang's POV:
My eyes struggle to open as sun shines through the curtains on the other side of the room. My eyes are full of sleep and I wish that I could lay back down and sleep forever but the consistent tapping on my shoulder makes me aware of Cameron laying halfway on top of me trying to wake me up. "Good morning." I whisper because that's as high as my voice can reach right now.

"Sang?" Cameron asks and his face is scrunched up in a confused expression.


"What happened to your face?" At first I think it might just be that I have waken up oddly but when Camerons finger traces down my face, the memories of last night come rushing back like a tidal wave. McCoy. The dance. The cut on my face. The guys leaving. Me curling up on the couch pathetically. How I felt.

It all comes back to me and I close my eyes while letting my head drop back down on the couch behind me. "What happened Sang?" I am quickly reminded that it is not the time for me to lose my mind.

I open my eyes and smile at him. "I just accidentally cut myself. I wasn't being smart." I explain in the best way possible. How am I supposed to tell him I body slammed my principal and he took a knife to my face?

"Is that why you always tell me to be careful?" Cameron asks and climbs the rest of the way on top of me and lays his head down on my chest.

"Yes it is."

"Oh. What are we doing today?" I let several ideas run through my head. 1.) I could lay around all day watching movies with the kids and eating food that North would never approve of. 2.) I could let the kids sit around all day while I do something productive like cleaning, or homework. 3.) Take the kids out for fresh air that both they and I desperately need.

The truth is option three is the best one to choose in the long run but option one sounds like the best thing right now. This isn't just about me, this is about the kids. "Would you want to go to the park down the street in a little bit?" I ask and Camerons eyes light up. He jumps off of me and starts jumping up and down.

"Yes!" I smile and tell him to get ready but guilt starts eating at me. I haven't spent enough time with them lately.

I pull myself up off of the couch and groan when I stand up. My feet are sore from the dance yesterday and I already regret telling Cameron we would go to the park.

I make my way to the bathroom and brush my hair, and teeth. Then I wash my face and do everything else that I can in the bathroom. Then I go to my closet and grab a loose pair of jeans, a sweater and a pair of shoes. Once I get dressed I leave my hair down and let it taken place in the natural waves that would normally end up in a bun.

I make my way to Lily's room and find Cameron trying to grab her out of her crib. "Would you like help?" I ask and he jumps in the air and whirls around to face me.

"I was trying to get her but her crib is too high for me." Cameron complains and I hold back a smile. I walk over to her crib and lower the bars so that Cam can easily reach in and grab her. Once he does I raise the bar higher and turn back to face him. Cameron is holding Lily the best he can but I am afraid he will drop her so I quickly grab her. Cameron pouts but it quickly goes away once I tell him to go watch Tv for a bit and I will be out in a minute.

I carry Lily over to the closet and pick out black leggings with a bright pink sweater. Then I grab hair ties and carry her to my room. I lay her down on the bed and change her into her clothes then set her back up on my lap. She giggles and laughs as I tickle her and and do her hair. It just gets put up into two pigtails. When I'm finished I add two pink hair ties with butterfly's on them. The pink on the hair tie is the same color as her sweater and I can't help myself from taking a few pictures of her.

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