Brother from another mother

25th Hour

A/N : This oneshot is in reference to 5x16. We all  need closure from that fight .  :')

Walking Mike through those doors, not knowing when he'd be able to come out again, sent an agonising pang through my heart, straight to my stomach. I had been holding it together as strongly as I possibly could, for Mike. I knew I'd be able to breakdown after... The only time I'd been unable to suppress it had been when I'd come home expecting to be by myself.

I'd been surprised by Mike's presence. I'd kept pressing ...press till it hurts. I had wanted for him to come at me, tormented that he was going to go to prison because of me. I was the one who had hired him, despite knowing better, I was the one who had kept him by my side however I could, even though Mike had expressed multiple times that we should quit while we were ahead. It was my fault. And the guilt was eating me up.

I knew it wouldn't do him any good pointing fingers, so I kept it buried, but it leaped to the surface when presented with Mike so unexpectedly. I barely made a move to defend myself, wanting for him to punish me, not caring in the moment what this would do to him, how much he would hate himself for hurting me.

Just like I hated myself so much knowing what I was causing him. What he was losing because of me. After he stopped, tears pouring down his eyes, I regretted what I had forced him to do.

----------------------------------------------

"What are you doing here?" I sighed.

Mike responded seriously, "Harvey, I want to talk to you."

"Good, because I want to talk to you."

"I want you to be my best man." Mike says. I stare at him in shock, not expecting this to be even remotely a topic of consideration. "What? Rachel and I want to get married."

"You are less than a day from prison and you're thinking about dresses and flowers?" I couldn't help the sarcastic tone my words held. I shoved down the feelings that rose in me at hearing Rachel's name, something of an automatic response at this point.

"Harvey..." Mike starts.

I cut him off, "You know what? I'll be your best man on one condition – "

Mike doesn't let me finish, knowing where I was going with this. "That ship has sailed."

"The hell it has. We can still call Gibbs." I needed for him to agree to this. I couldn't let him take the fall for something that was our fault. I wouldn't let him take the brunt of it, when I was equally, if not more so, at fault.

Mike responded dismissively, "I am not calling Gibbs."

"Get it through your head. This is on me," I needed to get through to him. So much weighed on this, and I physically ached at the thought of him going to prison, especially at the hands of something that was my fault.

"No, you get it through your head, " Mike snapped back. "I am not letting you go to prison for a crime that I committed."

"Well, I'm not letting you go when you were going to be found innocent!" The words flew out in angry desperation.

Mike visibly reeled back at my words. "What did you say?"

I rallied, "That's right. I lied. The verdict was not guilty."

I knew the next words out of Mike's mouth before he said them, after having seen his face fall into stubborn denial. "No, I don't believe you."

"Then call the goddamn guy," I shrugged, carelessly as if this wasn't a conversation that didn't carry the weight of the world. It felt like it would be my last chance at talking Mike out of his goddamn martyr complex, and for what?! For me?! Not if I had anything to do with it.