Chapter 54

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Pain isn't something that would last long especially when you are surrounded by people who love you. Pain, just like so many things in life, is temporary no matter in which form.

He and our family has made me realize this within a matter of days. Their love-so pure, just like them wasn't stopped by any means. The rope holding me down to the ground-where pain had touched me is being cut by my family thread by thread and I believe in no time I would be a star again.

Still, I know I'm not the one for him.

Or for the family.

Their way of living and working is not something designed for a woman like me.

But for him, I wish I was made in that way, where this lifestyle wouldn't feel like a huge hill on top of my head.

However, I'm a star. My wishes don't get granted and neither am I capable of granting someone their wish. I know this because my Arosio has wished for my love everyday-which, now, is present in me, but despite the power to show him that love with no resistance seems to be something, I don't have.

But again, I wish I did.

Again, I remind myself to face what I would do when the time comes and simply live with him because this is the one thing that I have right now.

Better not think about the pain before I have to endure it.

And I think it was for the best that I had passed out that day in most of the moments because it has allowed me to feel easier to forget most of it. The scars on my body and the aches are the only thing that reminds of that day else there aren't other things that force me to reminisces those moments.

Arosio coaxes me to wake up with light kisses on my forehead the same way he often does.

"No." This is a bad habit. Even dangerous. Only a week or three and then I would, again, have to sleep alone. Wake up alone. Do everything alone. Not with him or my family. Or even Brielle.

"Roselyn, you can sleep but I need to wake up." He is already awake. What he means is for me to stop laying my body weight on him so he can get up. He could just easily push my healing body away but he wouldn't. I know that in me.

My hand searches for his and he takes mine in his under the covers.

I love you.

Say the words to him, I think to myself. If I'm going to leave then why not reveal my love to him.

On a better note, it's best for him if I don't do it. He might get into the dangerous habit of needing to hear the words of love. Habits were nothing to me before but being habitual to another person is both the worst and the best thing that could happen to one. Especially if it includes love. And if I were to say it to him and leave, he might consider I had lied and that is something I don't want. But it will always be with him.

Arosio.

"I'll be with you but you need to have some breakfast before you have your medicine." He says.

Only a few minutes later after few more kisses does he get to move.

The pain has decreased only a bit but it's better. I want to get up but Arosio will be back soon and he is going to get mad that I got off without anyone here to hold me if I were to fall. I would've got up anyway if his fear of me falling weren't true. Pain in the head is something else compared to the pain in other parts of the body. Feels much more. But medicine has helped me deal with it. A lot.

And I need to look in the mirror to know how much I've healed. Arosio said it's no longer swollen the way it was but I need to see it by myself since I have, till now, somehow, managed to avoid the mirror.

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