Twisted in Ties (Loki x OC)

Chapter 104

Thor's POV

It had been almost six months since Izetta had passed. I was staying with my brother for the time being. I wanted to go with the Guardians, but he needed me more. I told them to come and visit again sometime. Plus, Stark had created a way to communicate with them from long distances. 

My brother and I were currently staying in New Asgard. He had a place a bit further away from the town now. However, I rarely saw him most days. He was often gone at night and then asleep during the day. Tonight, I was going to see if I could go with him. I wished to speak with him. I knew he was going through a lot and I wanted to help. I understood the feeling, after all.

I had also been getting back into shape and had cleaned up a bit myself. After all, I still did remember my promise to 'clean up a bit' when Izetta and I had spoken prior to the battle. She had my health in mind, I knew that. I had been getting much better and I did trim up my beard and my hair. Now, I had to make sure Loki didn't get as bad as me. 

Of course, his grief was much different than mine. I was glad he wasn't drinking like I'd expected him to, but he didn't seem to be doing...anything. I didn't even know. All I knew is that he hadn't let himself become a mess. It was a good thing, but not seeing much of his grief also worried me. It was why I had to keep an eye on him. I didn't want him doing anything reckless or stupid or terrible.

That night, I waited on the couch for him. I had let myself in without him knowing. I knew he would've stayed in his room if he'd heard me coming. Luckily, it was getting somewhat easier to sneak up on him. Not that I had any ill-will, but he'd become less observant, that was for sure. 

It wasn't terribly late when I heard footsteps. I looked up, peering through the dark. I saw a figure heading toward the door after grabbing a jacket.

"Would you mind if I accompanied you this evening?" He turned as I spoke up.

"...I thought you'd retired for the night. Did you really let yourself in?"

"Most other nights, you'd be right, and yes, I did. But I too wish to go for a walk." He said nothing. "May I join you, Brother?" He nodded. We left together, staying silent for a bit. I gave him time. He needed it. I could tell.

"...How come you wished to come with me?"

"I assumed you needed some company." He didn't respond to that. "Loki, I made a promise six months ago. It wasn't just because of what happened. I want you to be okay, Brother."

"...I know. I'm sorry I'm such a liability lately."

"You're not. If staying means you'll be alright, then I'm proud and glad to be here. Even if you might not want it to be me, you should have someone here to help you. I...I do understand what you feel."

"Well...I suppose you're not entirely wrong." I smiled a little. We kept walking together. I didn't know exactly where we were going, but it didn't really matter. "Do you still miss her?" I looked over as he said that. I nodded a bit.

"Very much so, yes." He nodded a bit, somewhat awkwardly. It was as if he didn't know what else to say. "I'm sorry that it ended this way, Brother."

"...What if there was another way?"

"Loki, we've discussed this before. Even if there were, I don't think that would've changed anything." He laughed bitterly.

"...What if I could've changed something? Anything?"

"She wouldn't have let you, I bet."

"But we were together." He argued. "We were finally free. We were...we were happy." I listened as he spoke, recognizing the emotion in his voice. He took in a shaky breath. "For the first time in my life...nothing else mattered to me. I just wanted to keep her safe. I...found something I thought I never could. I...I owe her everything and it was because of my mistakes this happened to us. I...don't know what to feel. I can't tell anymore."