Down the line

15 - Haircut

23rd January 2018

Clem's fat. Well, not fat but you know what I mean. She's eaten a baby. Well...maybe not but whatever.

Lee has been growing as usual cause that's what kids do. 3 years old now, or 2...frankly I have no idea which is kind of bad. He looks about 3. Lee talks to me now, he can finally express himself in ways other than shitting himself and laughing about it.

Clem says I'm a good dad but I know for well I'm not. What sort of terrible father forgets how old his kids are? Or when their birthday is? I was a terrible person, with everything that happened with dad it just made things worse. I honestly was a horrible person and father and I don't know how Clem couldn't see that. How she couldn't see the pain I went through to even still be here today.

She understands. But sometimes I just doubt myself. I doubt my honesty and ability to do well. I sometimes look at Lee and think, wow. This is the new generation of Wellington, the person who will take care of this place many a years after I'm gone.

Maybe I'll have grandchildren one day? Maybe I won't? It wouldn't matter, as long as I had a family I could always go back to. A family that loved me. Even Danny had become distant, we had never been best friends or anything close but I missed him. I missed our games of soccer. I missed my annoyance.

One day I'm going to open my eyes and all of this will be gone. All of it. Wellington can't last forever. Just like I can't live forever. My children will have to live with the consequences of a thriving community. It's there for the taking.

After eating a few eggs in a sandwich and getting a well needed shower I finally went out to go and get that haircut. I had also shaved slightly, I may as well start fresh. Blank canvas.

I carried a bottle of wine in a plastic bag all the way to the other side of the village.

I knock on the door of my friends sister. I heard some noises from inside and then someone came to the door. It was Lara.

"Morning Lewis" the happy woman smiles.

"Morning, you open for business?" I return the smile.

"Well I am now. Come in, come in." Lara pulls open the door and leads me inside to her kitchen. Her house was most likely the cleanest in Wellington.

I place the plastic bag down on the counter.

"Brought some wine as exchange. Everyone needs some now and then. No expense spared." I shout into the other room as she grabs her equipment.

I watch her come back into the room with shavers and sharp hairdressing scissors. Her face lights up when she sees the bottle and she instantly runs over and grabs it.

"Ooo it's the good stuff as well! You must have spent a fortune. How many tokens was it? A haircut really isn't worth this much"

"It was nothing. Turner privileges." I chuckle and she joins in.

After a warm cup of coffee she sits me down in a dining room chair positioned in the middle of her kitchen floor. She begins to cut my hair to the usual length. Not too short and not too long, just right.

"So how your brother?" She asks me generation small talk.

"He's fine, just being an asshole like usual. He's bunking with me for a week or so, wasn't my idea." I sigh as I try to speak over the buzzing of the shaver.

"Kelly's then?" Lara laughs.

"Of course. That girl needs to stop being so...nice." I begin to chuckle.

It was true. Kelly was too nice sometimes. I didn't want Lee in my house at all. But in fact it wasn't my house at all. It was hers. So technically I had no input.

"How about your mom, how is she?" Lara asks me as she moves around to the side of my head to get behind my ears.

"I think she's good, April's always giving her hell. Just being an ungrateful little cow but that's April for you. But she's alright when you want her to be." I shrug.

My sister needed to learn some manners. She needed to appreciate what she has.

"April sounds like a piece of work. I haven't seen her about for a little while. It's hard not to keep tabs on the Turner family though. You're like royalty to the majority of us." Lara admits to me. I had never thought of it like that before.

"We're all the same. My family is no different to yours. We're all in this together." I say directly as I stare at the wooden door in front of me.

"If you say so. But remember the Turner's are always on top. They always have been. Always will. You guys know what you're doing, that's why people trust you."

I knew that everything she was saying was most likely bullshit.

"Our family is the most fucked up, dysfunctional family in all of Wellington. Why put trust in us?" I say as she turns off the shaver to finish.

"Because even after all of that, you're still the strongest people here." She stands in front of me and smiles before adjusting the angle of my head.

She brushes off the loose bits of hair drifting about on top of my head.

"Does it look good?" I question as she stares at the top of my head.

"Perfect" she grins before taking a mirror and passing it too me.

I brush my hair down as I stare at my face in the mirror. I wouldn't say I was ugly, that would be too much of a lie. Vain but it had to be true. I looked slightly like dad but I had moms dark hair and olive skin.

"I am far from perfect." I begin to laugh.

"Don't doubt yourself Mr.Turner. You're all we have."