Down the line

32 - Sobbing

NICK POV

"This is bullshit! We're falling back." Lewis states as he looks across the car at me. We had been behind this rusting car for a good half an hour.

But it was time to go as soon as we saw the snipers come out and take a few of the people in the south side. The innocent people.

I looked into the south side. I hadn't been there in years. It seemed strange to be out of the cell. I had gotten to know Lee, especially his affair. I couldn't tell Lewis about it either. It wasn't any of my business.

I reloaded my rifle and then looked up once more and that's when I saw my past mistakes. Melissa ran across the road, a little boy in front of her. That was my son.

I watch her. A concerning mother. I ruined her life. That one night that changed everything.

But then as I watched her run a blood spurt came from the opposing side of her head. Suddenly making her collapse. Alfie stood still and turned to look at his mother.

"Melissa!" I scream as I suddenly begin sprinting with all of the energy I had left towards the woman. I didn't care if I got shot, as long as I came to see this woman.

"Nick? Where are you going?" I hear Lee shout behind me. But I continued to run, away from them.

As I got closer and closer to the scene I saw the little boy cry by his mother. I slowed down when I got near to the scene. I swung the rifle onto one of my shoulders and instantly scooped Melissa up in my arms.

"Kid, we need to move. Follow me!" I command. Alfie instantly begins to follow me as I hold his deceased mother in my arms. A bullet fired at me, inches from my face.

We finally made our way around the side of a house. I placed Melissa down and stared at her. A bullet through her head, straight through.

"My mom" Alfie chokes from behind me. I instantly turn around to face him. I couldn't let him see his dying mother.

"We're going to go into the house now, then you're going to have to listen to everything I say. Alright?" I panic, tears in my eyes. I looked in his eyes, replicas of mine.

He nods and sniffs.

I didn't know whose house this was but I opened up the back door whilst carrying Melissa once again.

"Wait here" I tell him as I search about the house for some kind of sheet to cover Melissa.

As I search all I could hear was the sobs of my son and the constant echo of gunfire. When I find a bedsheet I take it out back and place Melissa inside. I wasn't meant to be okay when dealing with this.

I hadn't felt what my dad had felt. This was the sort of things he had to deal with. He never really spoke about his past as much as I'd like him to. Cause one day it will be too late and I will regret not asking him.

"I'm so sorry" I whisper to the girl I did horrible things to when I got drunk. I didn't deserve to be here. I deserved to be in that cell rotting just how the people of Wellington wanted.

I deserved to die. Not uncle Josh. Nobody but me deserved to die as to what I did to this girl. I was fucked up, rebellious.

I wrap her up in the blanket and leave her behind the house. Whenever I used to think of her and Alfie I used to think of a happy family. Something that could never happen, because of me. I was a good person really. Wasn't I?

When I walk back inside the house Alfie was laying on the couch, crying. Just the sight of him made me cry. The fact he looked like me hurt even more.

"Hey Alfie. I know how you must feel right now. This is all so fast." I sigh as I sit beside him. He was all that mattered now, to know that he was safe.

"She...my mom" he begins. A word between every sob.

"I'm...my name is Nick. I'm going to make sure you're okay. But I need you to listen to me." I say. I couldn't just come unannounced and tell him I'm his dad. It's a fucked up situation as it is.

He didn't need to know me anymore than being that one guy that's going to help him for the rest of his life. That was my goal now. My only need to survive.

"Okay" Alfie whimpers as he wipes his eyes. I had to live without a mother. That's probably why I showed no signs of compassion for women. No respect. I wouldn't let that happen with him.

"You're going to stay here. In the bathroom. You're not going to come out until I say so. Remember my voice okay? I'll say something special, what do you want the password to be?" I question trying to brighten his mood, even just a little bit.

He looks around the room. Then suddenly locks his eyes on an object.

"Table"

"Okay, when I come back I will say 'Table' and that's how you're going to know it's me. You don't come out for anybody else and I mean it." I tell him directly as I stare into his eyes and grip onto his shoulders as I bend down on my knees.

He nods his head and I pull a pistol out of the back of my jeans and I pass it to him.

"Only pull the trigger if you want to hurt somebody a lot. It's dangerous but I'm trusting you to be a big boy, okay?" I say as I watch him stare at the weapon in his hands. His hands barely wrapped around the metal object.

He nods again. Not wanting to speak. I didn't blame him. I peeled the cushions away from the couch and placed them inside the bathroom for Alfie. I found some books on the side, some paper and some pens. I placed them all inside the bathroom.

At least if he was in the bathroom he would have access to a toilet if he needed and a small amount of running water to drink if desperate.

"I will be back for you soon. I promise." I take one last look at the little boy as he holds the gun and shakes. That was my son, I had some sort of responsibility.

"Okay Nick" he finally replies. I shut the door and take a deep breath.

I look down at the floor and then close my eyes. I didn't want to think about all of the childhood I missed out on. I needed to be there for him. I couldn't cry too much.

I had to go back and fight.

******

Random question for everyone-

Who's your favourite character in the 'My Big Brother Luke' series? Why?