Down the line

19 - Glare

"Why are you here?" I growl at my son I'm pretty sure I disowned at one point.

"I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I want to make things better. Things are changing now. I have to change." He looks down and then bites on his lips. I wonder what he was so worked up about.

"I don't know what to say Lee." I mumble. I didn't want to be anywhere near him not after what he did to Luke. What he did to Josh.

"Don't say anything, just take the flowers I picked and except the fact I'm a fuck up and I want to apologise." He scratches the back of his head and forcefully passes me the flowers.

I take them from him and stand there awkwardly. Speechless. I hadn't seen nor spoken to him in years. The last time I had saw him was also the last time I saw Josh.

"I mean, if nobodies in...we could talk? I need to...say some things." He admits and looks at me straight in the eyes.

"I don't... You need to be apologising to Luke, if you wanted to start somewhere." I sigh and stare at the floor.

"Already have. You're next, then Lewis."

I was lost for words.

"Why?"

"Why? Cause I want to set things right. I want to be better. I've been staying with Kelly....and Lewis. Then well as usual, Kelly convinced me to come and do something. I wouldn't have done it otherwise, she allowed me to see why I should say sorry. There's a whole bunch of reasons why. I mean, what I did was fucked up. I've learnt that." Lee says. I tried processing his every word. Then I backtracked.

"What do you mean 'as usual'?" I question.

"Can we talk please? Unless this is a bad time?"

"Mom? Who's at the door?" Lewis shouts from inside.

"I guess this is a bad time then." Lee gets ready to turn around but I grab his arm. I held the flowers very tightly in my other arm.

"We're just about to have dinner."

After Lee finally nods, I lead him inside and he kicks off his shoes. I go back into the kitchen and begin to serve up the dinner that I had created. Lewis suddenly shot into the kitchen to join me after a few minutes.

"Why the hell is Lee standing like a lemon in your hallway? Are you fucking stupid?" Lewis growls at me, unaware of how badly his temper was showing.

"Don't speak to me like that! I invited him in! It was your damn girlfriend that encouraged him to do something about his behaviour, so you should thank her for him being here. At least he's trying, you haven't yet. Sit through this and I'll qualify this as trying." I snap back as loudly as I could without anyone in the other rooms hearing.

He looked guilty for his words.

"I'm sorry....I just, I'm fed up of him. You know I blame him for everything." I watch him grit his teeth and I look away.

I knew what 'everything' was. I wanted to cry. But I sucked it up.

"Can you just help me serve this out?" I wipe my irritated eyes and pick up two of the plates before taking them to the dining room.

We all sat down. Even Lee, even April. I sat beside Lee, Lewis was opposite him.

My entire family began to eat. My children, They hadn't all been together like this since the last family meal we had. It was strangely nice. Minus the glares that Lewis gave to Lee every couple of seconds, I don't think he realised I noticed.

"I had to ask Luke where you lived now, wouldn't have found it otherwise." Lee chuckles lightly and tries to spark a conversation. I sip on my water before replying.

"It's nice here, it's not like the office block at all. It actually has a backyard." I smile at the small talk.

"Maybe you wouldn't have had to do all that moving, I mean you were under a lot of stress at the time. It was wrong for you to have to move at the same time." Lewis comments making everyone go silent.

I knew it was particially Lee's fault as to why I had to move.

He was clearly just gunning down Lee and making him feel the worse he probably could. April just looked at me as if to say 'I don't want to be involved in this'. I was with her on that one.

Lewis pokes some food around on his plate with a fork, looking down at it and slowly moving his eyes upwards so he could study Lee's reaction to his shots.

"Well Lewis, that's in the past now so we can forget about that." I growl trying to reduce the tension at the dinner table.

"But some people enjoy bringing up the past." Lewis huffs, now directly staring at Lee.

"Look, I know what you're trying to do. Fucking stop it you little shit. I'm trying here. Aren't I trying?" Lee points to himself and looks at me. I nod my head slowly as Lewis looked at me in disbelief.

"Surely you don't believe this shit?" Lewis drops his cutlery on the plate making a crashing noise. April leans away from him.

"Can we have one fucking meal together without anything going wrong? Shut the fuck up, both of you!" I scream louder than expected.

The entire room goes quiet as they were taken back by my words. It was only when I got up to clean the plates that April spoke for the first time in the meal.

"Thanks" she mumbled awkwardly. Both of the boys followed her lead with small mumbles of thank yous.

I took the plates into the kitchen and then came back to see Lewis literally frothing at the mouth in front of Lee as he stands up. I have no idea what he said but it couldn't be good.

"I should be going now." Lee announces, not to my surprise.

"Just so you can sit in my fucking house?" Lewis growls once again.

"It's not even your house." Lee says back before walking over to the door.

I follow him over and open it for him, he steps outside and I stand by the door.

"You can come back whenever, if you need to clear some things." I tell my eldest son and he nods.

"It was a bad idea to come here, I just pissed off Lew even more. I can't say I like him, cause I don't" Lee awkwardly scratches the bottom of his chin right where his facial hair sat.

"At least you're honest." I shrug.

*******

Is it right for Lee to come back and expect an acceptance?