Our little secret | Jev

8. Switch-up

Lev's pov

I groaned, rolling over in my bed and stretching out an arm. I was surprised when instead of feeling a person sleeping next to me, I felt an empty space. I opened my eyes, looking around the room. It was completely empty, no Jentzen to be seen anywhere.

My eyes landed on a small note on the pillow next to mine, leading me to reach out for it and unfold the page curiously. I sighed as I read over the words, feeling a wave of almost sadness or regret.

Had to leave for audition, didn't want to wake you. I'm sorry for last night, but I also don't regret what I said.
- Jenzo

Maybe I shouldn't have said what I said last night. Maybe everything would be better if we both had stayed silent and went on being regular best friends like everyone else seemed to be able to do. I simply couldn't help feeling like I had fed him empty words and false promises.

I liked Jentzen, I really really did, yet just because my feelings are genuine doesn't mean I can give him what I know he wants... this way, I might end up hurting him more than I would have if I lied and told him it was all one sided. Being in any position to hurt him was the last thing I ever wanted to do.

I sighed, getting up and going to take a shower. It was a long day of filming at Piper's house and I didn't want to be late otherwise our schedules would run late into the day. When I got out, I picked out some simple beige cargo jeans, a large black shirt and a red hoodie to go overtop.

I walked out of my room, seeing my mom in the kitchen by the fridge. "Hi mom" I greeted, walking over to give her a quick hug. "Heading out?" She asked, grabbing an apple and closing the refrigerator door. I nodded. She stuck her hand into one of her pockets, pulling out the keys to her car and handing them to me.

"You can drive there yourself today, but please be safe. Have fun" she smiled, patting my shoulder. I said my goodbyes and within five minutes I was out the door and on my way to Piper's. It was a relatively short drive from my house to hers so it wasn't long until I was pulling up outside her gate.

I made sure to lock my car before walking up to her house door. As always, it was unlocked, so I let myself in. The house was loud as usual, the sounds of people chatting in piper's kitchen. I walked in and all eyes turned to me, people immediately getting up to greet me.

"Hi Lev!" Emily waved from next to Piper. Jenna got up from her seat to greet me with a hug. Elliana didn't even look up from her phone, but it didn't bother me at all. Piper ran around from the other side of the kitchen and flung her arms tightly around me. "Lev, I missed you so much! It feels like I've barely seen you these past few days!" She screamed excitedly, breaking away from the hug to place a peck on my lips.

I didn't return the kiss but I also didn't stop it from happening, not wanting her to notice I seemed off. I gave her a short half-hearted smile, stepping away from her slightly. Don't get me wrong, I like Piper, I honestly do... I just can't bring myself to love her - she doesn't make me feel the same way some other people do.

Even though she is always the one to hug and kiss me, to utter those three words and to want to spend time with me, I sometimes can't help but wonder if we're still together just because it's convenient for her - just because it's familiar and comfortable. Maybe there was once a point where I thought she could be someone I could love, but the feelings never came.

I thought if I gave things a chance I could learn to be in love, or to at least me emotionally moved in some way by her but no matter how hard I tried to negotiate with my heart and beg my mind to see her that way, I couldn't.

I cleared my throat, suddenly slipping out of my thoughts and back into reality. As I looked around the room, only one question was at the front of my mind. "Where's Jentzen?" I asked, not realising I was thinking out loud.

"Audition" Elliana mumbled unenthusiastically, still glued to her iPhone. I hadn't noticed but my face must have fallen for a second, because soon Emily was by my side.

"Hey, you ok Lev? You look a little down today" Emily pointed out, her tone laced with concern. I gave her a smile, patting the top of her head. "Don't worry, I'm fine!" I replied, letting out a little chuckle.

As surprising as it was, apart from Jentzen, Emily was the person in the squad who I had grown closest to. It was never weird between us, and she'd always been an amazing friend to me when I needed it. I only hoped that I was doing the same for her, and being someone she feel she could talk to when she needed it.

Something diverted my attention as I heard the sound of the front door opening. My head immediately shot around, seeing the door swing open. In walked the brunette, a big goofy smile on his freckled face.

It was Jentzen.