Our little secret | Jev

17. Chase

Jentzen's POV

I sat on the sofa of Piper's house, the room being completely empty apart from me. I didn't know what to do after what I'd just heard Lev talking about with Emily, so as a distraction I pulled out my phone and mindlessly started scrolling through it. This didn't last long, as within a few seconds I saw Lev clambering down the stairs, frantically looking around.

The second his eyes landed on me he paused, his expression slowly relaxing as he took a breath and started waking over to me. "Jentzen..." he began, looking guilty as he sat next to me. I tried to give  him a half smile but I knew I wasn't doing a good job of hiding the first expression on my face.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean for you to hear that-" he started saying before I cut him off. "So you weren't even going to tell me?" I bit back. He opened his mouth but no words came out. "I was going to... well I was thinking of telling you, but I-" he stopped himself, taking a deep breath.

"I didn't tell you because I knew you would worry about me, and the last thing I'd ever want to do is cause you to have more things to think about" he admitted truthfully. I leant my head to the side, looking at him.

"But that's just the problem. It's my job to worry about you, Lev, and it makes me feel worse that you didn't tell me cause now I feel like I've just stood by and did nothing to help. I always thought you were someone who I could talk to about anything, but clearly you don't feel the same way for me" I replied, letting out my emotions.

Lev looked taken aback, for a moment seeming too stunned to speak. "Please don't think of it that way, you know how much I care about you and that's why I didn't tell you" he explained.

I shook my head, not accepting his excuses as an apology. "You know how I feel about things like this. I know what it's like to feel lonely and to feel like I have no one around me. All I have is Liana and sometimes it feels like I don't even have a family - I mean, I barely do. The worst part about it is you know all of this already, and you know how strongly I feel about it and how much it would hurt me to know you don't want to talk to me about it" I admitted.

Lev looked even guiltier than before, as if finally understanding why it hurt me so much. "I know, and I'm sorry Jentzen. Please believe me. From now on, I don't want any more secrets between us - I won't hide things from you to protect your feelings now that I know you'd feel better if you knew so you could help me" he apologized.

Well, that was an acceptable 'sorry'. I flashed a small smile, and this time it was genuine. "Thank you, I appreciate it. Also, I was wondering... if you want to, why don't you come stay over at mine tonight? Liana won't mind at all, but of course if you don't want to you don't have t-" I began rambling nervously.

Lev laughed. "Of course, that will be really nice, as long as you don't mind" he agreed, a smile now also present on his face. He slowly reached out and placed his hand in mine. I could tell I was blushing from how hot my cheeks were getting.

Deep down I was still hurt and wondering why Lev didn't tell me before - he doesn't have to 'protect my feelings'. I'm here to love and support him, but he still can't seem to see that yet. It's not always me who needs to be protected in the relationship, it's ok for him to ask for help too. Regardless, I knew it wasn't worth holding a grudge or staying angry at him, so I let it go.

"This is nice" I mumbled, laying my head on his shoulder. "It is" he agreed. "I wish it could stay like this forever".

So sorry I was gone for a little bit, I had super important work but now that it's break I'll be uploading SO SO MANY CHAPTERS SO GET READY!! Maybe try and get this book to 3k and as soon as it hits the target I'll release the next chapter (next chapter is awesome btw)