Ethan and Valerie are back in a brand new installment of their AU series- and things are more exciting than ever. Wedding bells are ringing, new job opportunities are on the horizon, times of celebration are ahead.. but on the other side of the coin...
AUTHORS NOTE: The Anniversary of the bioterrorism attack has reared its head- and the ednebrook doctors are doing everything and anything they can to cope. Valerie finds it hard to come to terms with the events of the last year, and Ethan has to confront everything he has avoided over the last year...and Sienna and james have a bump in the road of their relationship. Meanwhile the team take on the case of 6 year old Micha . This is 'The Darkest Day' and I hope you enjoy :)
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WARNING: This story discusses sensitive topics including: Death, PTSD, Anxiety, Depression and Addiction. Scroll down to the very end for help lines.
Valentine
"...it doesn't go away. I don't know why, but a part of me thought it would. I thought...i'd wake up one day, and- it wouldnt hurt. But no. No, it um...it lingers. its always there in the background, waiting until i'm most vulnerable. some days its all consuming, and other days...the good days...they're the ones for just a little while, i forget."
My gaze flickered back up to doctor Rosenberg as i sat in her office and she asked "and...what gets you through the bad days, V?"
i sniffed and sat up a bit as i said "My husband. doctor ramsey. He has...been my support system every single day. My friends too of course, but...they dont see the side of this that ethan sees."
"the side of the trauma?"
i nodded and she continued to ask "and what thats for you?"
"...the panic attacks? Nightmares? anxiety? They worry. my friends that is.. ethan does too of course, but... if anyone sees me that vulnerable i only want it to be him."
"...i see. does this relate back to the guards that you put up that we've spoken about in other sessions?"
i nodded again and sighed "Ive always been a very guarded person when it comes to my emotions. I try, to be a guarded person. but the trauma has even taken that away from me, and sometimes i break down into a hysterics- thats not the kind of person i want to be. im better than that. stronger than that."
she folded her hands on her lap and said "V, you have this need to be in control of everything to do with yourself. and if you cant meet those expectations, you immediately think that you are not worthy"
i glanced down again and she continued to say "cant you see, just how better you are? stronger you are?"
"It weakened me, doctor Rosenberg. it didnt better me at all." i took a slightly shaking breath
"You were in a bioterrorism attack that nearly took your life. an attack that killed two of your friends. Yet you still work in the same hospital where it happened, you walk through the doors every, single, day, and you keep working to save peoples lives, day in, day out."
