Chapter 51

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Seunghyeon stared at his laptop screen, using the arrows to adjust his name ever so slightly to balance out the cover of his portfolio. He was done an hour ago, but the more he fiddled with it, the easier it was to forget Kwangsun and him were alone.

They haven't talked much since that day. In front of others, they acted as if nothing happened, but Seunghyeon didn't have the strength to keep up in private. So they opted for silence instead.

Peaking across the table, Kwangsun typed away on his laptop, his eyebrows slightly furrowed in deep concentration. Seunghyeon wanted to cry. How dare he look so handsome and bothered while Seunghyeon's insides were a mess.

Kwangsun, The same person who poured his heart out into every painting with each colour representing something, was also the same person who refused to explain what made them so mad in the first place.

Seunghyeon gritted his teeth and dragged his fingers through his hair. It wasn't just them, but Myungsuk's situation too. Seunghyeon buried his head in his hands and let out a shaky breath.

"Hey."

Seunghyeon glanced up. Kwangsun had stopped typing and faced him, his eyes soft and gentle. Seunghyeon swallowed his scream.

"Are you okay?" Kwangsun asked.

"Am I okay?" Seunghyeon snapped. He glared at Kwangsun for a moment and the way he softened his gaze but tensed his jaw. Seunghyeon could punch him. "It's nothing," he muttered.

Kwangsun sighed. "Okay," he said, turning back to his laptop. "But you know. I'm still here to listen," he added, softly. "You can tell me things, kitty."

Seunghyeon held his breath. How cruel. How cruel was it that Kwangsun asked to be trusted, but didn't trust Seunghyeon in return.

But Seunghyeon didn't want to lose him, even as a friend. His presence was too precious. Seunghyeon's chest squeezed as words swirled in his mind. He couldn't say everything, but at least he could share one burden.

"Myungsuk is just too much into Insoo," Seunghyeon whispered.

Kwangsun furrowed his brow. "And that's a bad thing?"

Seunghyeon sighed and shrugged. "Well, no. Not at first. But now–" he clicked his tongue.

"But now what?"

Raking his fingers through his hair, Seunghyeon squeezed his eyes shut. "Hyung found a heat collar in his room," he spilled out, grimacing at the confession.

"Oh." Kwangsun sat up. "That's it?"

Seunghyeon groaned. Of course, Kwangsun wouldn't know. "That's a big deal. You only use a collar during heat and ruts! It means they shared a heat!"

He waited for a reaction, a loud gasp or a silent gape. What he didn't expect was Kwangsun to look away. Not in deep contemplation, but something else. Something that twisted Seunghyeon's gut and cracked the thin ice of hope he had for Kwangsun.

Seunghyeon squinted at him, "Did you know?"

Kwangsun didn't answer right away, but eventually, he shrugged. "I mean, they did ask me to be their witness."

"What?" Seunghyeon's mouth hung open. Witness? From shock, Seunghyeon's body roared with something painful. Something ugly.

"What the hell!" Seunghyeon jumped to his feet. "You were their witness?!"

"Hey, calm down," Kwangsun said, holding his hands up defensively.

Seunghyeon's blood boiled. "Calm down?" Seunghyeon dragged both hands through his hair. "Oh my gods! Why the hell would you do that!"

"Because they asked."

"Just because they asked? Didn't you bother questioning them?"

"It wasn't my place too."

"Damn right it wasn't your place!"

Kwangsun stood up. "They're both adults. They don't need a family member's consent."

"That doesn't matter!" Seunghyeon balled his hands up into fists. his scent oozing sharp, metallic anger. "You can be stupid at any age!"

Kwangsun took a step back, covering his nose "What are you talking about?"

"Myungsuk's my brother! Didn't you think about how I would feel? Did I even cross your mind?"

Kwangsun opened his mouth, but Seunghyeon cut him off. "Of course, you didn't. You just think I'm some whore that'll just throw you away, right?"

Kwangsun took a step forward. "Kitty, no I don't think that at all."

"Well, that's what it feels like," Seunghyeon snapped and took a step back.

"I don't even know what I did wrong," Seunghyeon whispered. "I keep thinking about what you said that night. That I treated you like you're temporary. But you're the only person I've never wanted to lose," Seunghyeon sniffled and squeezed his eyes shut. "I just want to know what I did wrong."

The silence suffocated Seunghyeon as he silently pleaded with Kwangsun to say something. Anything.

Kwangsun sighed and dragged his hand over his face. "I'm the one who fell out of line."

Seunghyeon paused. "What?"

"I'm the one who got my hopes up," Kwangsun continued, blinking back his tears. "You're an omega who could be with any alpha. And I'm just a regular beta. I can't compete."

All the rage and pain racing through Seunghyeon's veins vanished, replaced with numb ice. Of all the people. Out of the whole world of people who cared about status and gender and conforming, he didn't expect Kwangsun to be one of them.

"It's not a competition," Seunghyeon breathed out. "But thanks for letting me know letting me know you care about stupid shit like that too." Seunghyeon ignored his flowing tears and whipped around, grabbing his things.

"Wait, Kitty–" Kwangsun pleaded, grabbing his arm.

Seunghyeon slapped him away, growling. "No! You proved that you care about stupid norms to the point of letting Insoo take advantage of Myungsuk, just because they're an alpha and omega!" Seunghyeon swung his back over his shoulder and pressed his hands over his face, choking out a sob.

"You're the first person I've ever wanted," Seunghyeon whimpered. "I would've fought everybody for us. But you didn't even give me a chance."

Seunghyeon wiped his tears and held his breath as Kwangsun stared at him with red-rimmed eyes and so much hurt. Hurt that Seunghyeon couldn't soothe. Hurt that he ran from as he rushed out of the studio. Hurt that Seunghyeon couldn't soothe. Not when Kwangsun made the choice for them.

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