| 1st Book In Devil May Care Series |
If you're going to start a war, you better know what you're fighting for.
The voices in her head won't stop but pain is something she's use too. Azrael lives a life shedding tears of sadness, she hates the world...
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His face drops at my outburst but I can't feel any ounce of regret under all my anger. I spare him one last glance before making my way back upstairs, my skin burning with unreleased rage.
Rico isn't in the room when I come back, I realize before slamming the door behind me as I analyze the room. I try to calm down but everything just piles up. I feel like I can't get a break no matter how hard I try, there's always something in the way of me being happy.
I move away from the door to stand in front of the mirror, staring back at myself. I didn't even realize how lifeless and hollow my eyes were. I didn't notice how deep the circles under my eyes were. I hadn't realized how much weight I lost nor had I realized the color my skin was losing. I looked like I was fucking dying. My lips were chapped, scarred from the hit my dead mother gifted me. The bruise on the side of my face barely fading from the slap she threw at me.
My eyes fall down to my hands that shake against my sides before my fist meets the glass. Over and over again until it's completely shattered. Until I can't look at myself anymore. My hand bleeds out through my knuckles, glass stabbing at my skin but I can't feel it.
The door behind me opens and I don't even have to turn around to know it's Lucio. A breathless laugh escapes me when I turn around to meet his eyes. I lick at my chapped lips, catching my breath. I was going fucking crazy, I could feel something triggering in the back of my brain. My eye catches a framed picture of me and Lucio on the dresser bedside me from when we were younger.
I reach out to grab it, staring at it for a while. I shut my eyes for a second, it's only when he opens his mouth to speak do they open again before I chuck the frame at the wall behind him, purposely missing him. It shatters but he doesn't flinch, he just continues to stare at me.
Let go of that anger, Azrael. My dad's voice rings through my head. How? How did he expect me to let it go? Why did Lucio get to kill her? Why did Lucio get to be angry at her? Why was it so wrong for me to be upset? Didn't I deserve to be? How was I supposed to let it go?
Scream it out. Fight it out or even paint it out but you need to let it go before you self destruct.
"Azrael?" Lucio calls out, his voice is cautious as if he's warning me to stop thinking about whatever it is I'm thinking about.
My eyes flicker up from the floor to meet his. He looked worried as he glances between my hand and face, "Let me help you." He offeres, his voice soft.
I throw a bitter smile at him, "Haven't you helped enough?"
He looks at me like I've slapped him but I ignore it, "My dad told me to let go of my anger." I tell him, tilting my head as I take him in from head to toe. "He told me to scream it out, fight it out." I take a step towards him, "Paint it out."
