The Kick Back

Closer

I slept for a good while after the encounter with Vince and the long night with Stephanie. I laid in the bed for a while even after I woke up, just letting the fan blow on me. Stephanie was on my mind and I had to call her to see how soon we could link back up. I missed her and it hadn't even been a day since we last saw each other.

I needed her to take my mind off of things. At the same time, I wanted to keep it real with her. Vince was out to get me and I didn't want her to be in any danger because of me. I walked out of my bedroom and made my way to the living room. My mother and Gabby were out cold, one on the couch and one on the loveseat like they had fell asleep talking to each other. I walked over to the kitchen counter and sat down by the phone. That's when I dialed her number and anxiously waited for an answer.

"Hello?" i heard her voice answer. I paused for a moment, trying to disguise the excitement that would've been in my voice. "Hey beautiful." That was all I could muster. She still made me as nervous as the first time I met her. "Hey baby. I'm so glad you called." I could tell by the sound of her voice that I had called just in time. I could tell that something had to have happened when she got home that morning. I didn't want to ask and upset her at all, instead I decided to just be there for her and if she wanted to talk, then I would listen.

"I need to see you. Can we meet up somewhere or somethin?" I asked. She accepted my request and we decided to meet up at a park on the outskirts of her neighborhood. Oak Park was also neutral territory and it was a place that none of my people frequented. Luckily, we would always stick to what we knew, so I didn't have to worry about anyone seeing us together. "I'll see you around sundown. I have some things to do and then I'll meet you there." she told me. I nodded and smiled, happy that I would get to spend some time with her again that night. "I'll see you later then, baby. I'll bring somethin to keep us warm." I told her. I hung up the phone and headed back to my room to get dressed for the day.

Once I got fresh, I got out into the streets. As usual, I ran into my boys Mike, Alonzo, Ricky, and Carlos on my way to the corner store. They decided to walk with me which was usually how our days would start. We would find something stupid to get into for our entertainment and then wind up chillin at one of our parent's houses. Our favorite thing to do was watch Krush Groove together and dream of the day we would all be signed to a label bigger than Def Jam run by hispanics and not 'them.' It was a stupid pipe dream, but it's something we enjoyed and it kept us going.

Once we got to the store, I picked up a pop out of the freezer and a pack of my favorite sour candy. I walked to the counter and placed my stuff there while the cashier started ringing me up. That's when I heard the bells on the door ringing and looked over. A black guy walked in. He was obviously lost or new to the city because every black person knew not to be caught dead on my side of town. He smiled at me and then stood next to me at the counter. The cashier acknowledged him. "Can I help you?" he asked with an attitude. The guy just stood there for a moment, watching him hand me my change. I took my stuff and stepped to side, waiting for my boys to finish getting their snacks. "Yes, I'm on my way to a job interview and I need some directions." he told him. The cashier gave him a funny look and then said, "There's a gas station a couple of blocks from here. I think you might benefit from asking one of your own where you need to go." I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Was the tension that thick that we couldn't even offer black people directions to somewhere important? I shook my head and the guy glanced at me and then back at the cashier.

"This is ridiculous. I just need some damn directions..." he was interrupted when Mike and the fellas rounded the corner and approached the counter, placing their stuff down in front of him. "Yo, Ace, you havin a problem with this babosa, papito?" Mike asked, staring the guy down. I stood back because I knew what could possibly go down. I didn't want any involvement in that. "Yes...he needs to leave the store or he's going to have a bigger problem than not being able to find his way." Ace said, ringing the fellas up and glaring at the guy. The guy looked around and knew that he was outnumbered. He didn't wanna cause any trouble and end up hurt, so he backed out of the store without saying another word. I watched him to storm off to his car, pissed off, embarrassed and hurt. That was something I wouldn't wish on anybody. All I could think about was if Stephanie and I were ever caught together and how they would make her feel. I was just a ball of emotions at that point and I didn't know how to deal with those feelings.

All day long, I watched my back. Even though I was with my boys, I knew that there was only so much that they could do if I was confronted by Vince and his boys. We would've probably all ended up beaten down. They were my ride or dies though and whenever I got into some trouble, they were always there to back me up and take the fall with me. That's why I had so much love for my dudes. They never ran from nothin and they fought alongside of me. But there was that part of me that desperately wanted to break away from them. I didn't share the same ideas and I didn't look at blacks like they did. As far as I was concerned, they were people too and deserved to be treated as such. Once sundown approached, I shook all of their hands and told them that I had to go. Mike, being the inquisitive dude that he is, busted me out and asked me questions.

"Who got you leavin' the fellas so early? We usually kick it all night." he said, stuffing a handful of chips into his mouth. "Well...I gotta go handle some business with a lady friend of mine." I told him, keeping the other details to myself. He laughed and shook my hand once again. "Enough said, we'll see you later, bro. Oh and when I see you again, I want details." he said. I shook my head and headed off towards Oak Park, making sure I was a little more than discreet.

I stopped by the house and picked up a blanket for us to sit on. Once I made it there, I saw her sitting underneath a tree, looking off at the sunset in the distance. I walked up to her slowly, making sure I didn't startle her. "Hey." I said, she looked up at me and smiled. "Hi. I'm glad you made it." she said, turning her attention back to the sunset. I laid the blanket out and helped her onto it before taking a seat behind her. I wrapped my arms around her and rested my chin on her shoulder, kissing her on the cheek before joining her in watching the sunset. "I missed you so much." I told her. Stephanie had been the only bright spot in my life lately. She took my mind off of everything bad and made me feel good. I rubbed on her arms in an up and down motion and moved in closer behind her. I kissed her neck softly and she closed her eyes, welcoming my affection. All I wanted to do was feel her body, smell her perfume, and be close to her. I didn't know how far it would go, but I needed to be closer...even if it was just for one moment. I could feel her tensing up like she was becoming uncomfortable so I put some distance between us. She wasn't ready and I wasn't going to force it. I decided to fall back and wait for her to make the first move. If anything happened between us that night, it was gonna be her decision...