The Kick Back

Truth Is A Lie

I stood there in disbelief. Maria didn't say a word...because she knew nothing had to be said in order for everything that I believed to be confirmed. I stepped back and took a deep breath. I didn't know what to expect from myself at that point, all that I knew was that I was about to explode. What really got me, is that she stood there looking stupid. There was no "it's not what it looks like" or a "there's a perfectly good explanation for this." The truth was right there in black and white.

"What the fuck is this?!" I shouted. Maria immediately approached me, trying to calm me down before the bomb went off. But at that point, there was no calming me down. Carlos dumb ass backed up slowly but surely. He had known me for too many years and he knew the outcome whenever I would get that mad. "Yeah you better take your ass back home, bro!" I shouted, almost screaming. "Baby?! Are you fuckin' him?!" I asked. Maria instantly started crying. She knew she was in deep and there was no getting out of it. I guess she didn't expect me to find out the way that I did, but it was inevitable. Both of these motherfuckers had lied to me. What really pissed me off was the fact that Carlos had come to the hospital and he had seen Santiago. All the while he was congratulating me, even though he knew the truth.

"I didn't know how to tell you. You were so excited and I just didn't know how to break it to you, Ant. Please don't act like this..." she said, attempting to hug me. I couldn't control myself, i pushed her back and she fell to the floor. "Keep your hands off of me!" I shouted. Not once did Carlos try to defend Maria, he just stood back in the doorway like the coward he was. "Tell me the truth...Carlos...is this your son?" I asked him, out of breath, expecting the worst. He looked down at the floor and confirmed everything in his silence. I could feel my heartbreaking as I realized that everything I had been told for the past year had been a lie. Carlos had pretended to be my friend, smiled in my face about the pregnancy, and Maria had done the same. The tears welled up in my eyes and before I could stop them, they began to fall. This child wasn't mine...I wasn't his father and one of the people I actually trusted, couldn't be trusted anymore.

"Forget my number...forget I exist." is all I could say to Maria. She picked herself up from the floor and made sure that she kept her distance from me. I was so pissed off at that point that I knew I had to get out of there before I murdered the both of them. "And you...when you see me, don't speak, don't even look at me or I'm breaking your fucking neck! Quiero decir." I told Carlos. I pushed past the both of them and stormed out of the house. As far as I was concerned, I never wanted to see neither one of them again and any relationship that we had was over for good.

I didn't know where else to go. I really didn't wanna burden Stephanie with anything else just days before graduation. Her life was going good and I didn't wanna make her problems mine any longer. I had to deal with it...I had to learn how to cope without turning to her. It seemed like I was always raining on her parade and I just didn't wanna do it anymore. I went home that night a broken man. There are no other words to describe my feelings at that point. Hurt didn't express it well enough. Disappointed didn't even reach the surface of what I was feeling. My child had been taken away from me. It was too late to just be able to let it go with no feelings. I had fallen in love with him and now I was gonna be forced to walk away from it all.

I couldn't even speak when I walked through the door. Gabby and my parents were sitting in the living room watching TV together. As broken as I was, I didn't even wanna turn to my family for comfort. Everything was going good for them and I didn't wanna spoil it with bad news just yet. My mother had recovered from alcoholism and my father was finally being the man that he should have been. Gabby had given up her promiscuous ways and I was happy about that. My world had been crushed that night, but I had already made the decision to keep it to myself.

I walked into my room and closed the door behind me. Thoughts started running through my head about the pregnancy, his birth, things with Stephanie and how they had played out. Not even the strongest man could take any more than what I had been put through. I broke down in the middle of my bedroom. I dropped to my knees and bawled like a baby. I was hurting so bad and it didn't seem just crying was doing me any good. I couldn't control myself, I screamed out in agony. I had taken enough...somebody was going to have to save me. I was caught up in my emotions that I hadn't noticed Gabby standing at the door. She locked the door behind herself and walked up behind me. "Antonio...come here." she said, reaching out for me. But I couldn't stand. I felt like the pain I was feeling was splitting me in two. She kneeled down beside me and took me into her arms. My younger sister...the one I was supposed to protect, was trying her best to protect me at that moment. "What's wrong?" she asked. I couldn't speak...so I just held her tighter. She tightened her hold on me and then asked again, "What's wrong? Please just tell me..."

Everything was wrong...and every "truth" I had been told, were lies...