The Kick Back

Let's Go Back

It was cold. That's what I do remember vividly. I would've sooner liked to sleep on the concrete floor than that damn piss poor cot I was forced to sleep on. This wasn't a game...my freedom had been momentarily taken from me over some stupid mistake I had made years ago.

It all started at a kickback...everybody was there. It was the day after my 14th birthday. Alonzo invited me to one of his close friends' parties. At that time, I was still getting over everything that had happened with Maria and a new chick was the last thing on my mind. Still, I had it in my mind that if one wanted to fuck then I was gonna do it...plain and simple...just to kill some time...just to feel better.

I met one girl in particular. A girl named Amara. Amara was one of those hispanic chicks that could pass for a white girl. She wasn't the type that I would normally go for but I needed the attention that she was giving. We danced for about an half an hour together. You might as well say we were having sex on the dance floor the way we grinded with each other to every slow jam the DJ threw on. I wasn't complaining. This girl was bad and I mean seriously bad. Every time I felt her lips close to my neck, I felt myself becoming harder and harder. This wasn't the norm. It normally took a lot just to excite me even a little bit. The only girl that had been that successful at turning me on was Maria. On one particular song, she leaned into my ear and said, "Let's go somewhere where we can be alone." And we did just that.

She didn't waste any time. She started unbuckling my belt like she was hungry for it. Every ounce of blood in me had found it's way to my southern region and there was no going back. She didn't take anything off, she just pulled those pink panties to the side while I slid a condom on. She felt ready and I went in for the kill. I held her against the wall and started thrashing her. It was just what I needed, something that I could take my frustration out on and get a nut all at the same time. The way she came down on me felt so right, natural even. It didn't take long for me to explode, I was young and it felt a little too good for me. Once I did, I let her down and got rid of the rubber we used. She smiled at me and then took a minute to catch her breath. Once we both got our second wind, we went back into the party.

All along, there was a guy standing in the corner of the room watching me and Amara flirt and talk all night. If looks could kill, I would've been a dead man. I didn't notice until nearly the end of the night. I had to ask her, "You know that cat over there?" She looked over and then chuckled. "That's my ex Ronnie. Don't even worry about him, that culo couldn't handle being with a real woman." she told me. That's when it came to my mind to ask her, "How old are you?" I should've asked before but I was too focused on getting some ass. She smiled and said, "17...don't tell anybody what we did though." Shit, her secret was safe with me. It wasn't like I planned on seeing her again. It was a wam bam thank you m'amm thing to me. Before we could continue our conversation, Ronnie walked up to Amara and grabbed her arm. "What the fuck you been doin, vagabundo? You over here cheating on me with this dude?!" he asked, shouting. She pulled away from him and pushed him. I already knew what was about to happen between them so I decided to remove myself from the situation. That was their business and it wasn't my place to be Captain Save a Ho and get involved. I stood up and turned my back, about to walk away and that's when I felt him push me. I nearly fell to the ground but I caught myself. I turned around and before I could catch myself, I jumped on him. Mike and Alonzo caught wind of the situation and ran over to help me out. Ronnie was getting the better of me at that point and they saw fit to beat on him. I joined in with them, stomping him into the ground. Amara ran away like most bitches do. She didn't wanna get hurt, she didn't care about anybody else's well being, just hers. But I paid her no never mind. When we were finished delivering the beat down, we headed out the door.

I didn't think anything else of it until I saw Ronnie again. That time he was with some of his homies at the movies in the parking lot. He called me out and of course, being young and immature, I entertained his bullshit. "Hey! You got a lot of nerve coming out in public after you did what you did, homie!" His friends looked like they were ready to do to me what we had done to him. This dude just hadn't had enough. I had pull in my neighborhood, and whenever someone tried to jump on me, they got jumped on, point blank period. But, my homies were nowhere around. I was waiting on Gabby to get done talking to her friends inside of the theater so I was virtually alone with nobody to come to my defense. But, I did have the burner on me and if need be, I was going to use it. "I wouldn't fuck with me if I were you! Go home!" I yelled. All he did was laugh. He figured because he was older than me that I would be the one to cower, but that shit wasn't going to happen. Instead of listening to my warning, he approached me with his homies. "I knew I'd get a chance to beat your ass, pequeno hombre. Let's get his ass." Ronnie called out to his homies. They jumped in and started throwing punches. The last thing I wanted to do was pull out the burner but they were leaving me no choice. My first mind told me...try to get up...run...do somethin other than reach in your waist band and get that gun. All it took was one more blow to the head for me to reach and grab it. One of them noticed it and bagged up but the others kept hitting and kicking. Before I knew it, I fired. I didn't know who I hit...if anyone was hit. All I knew was that the pain had stopped and most of them had taken off running.

I stumbled onto my feet...vision blurred...every sound around me partially muted. I looked around and tried to get myself together. Once my vision cleared...after a few seconds...I could hear someone crying. I looked over to my right and everyone had dispersed except for two girls. They looked to be about my age. One of them was sitting on the ground, holding her leg, crying. The other was trying to comfort her. My heart dropped...I had shot an innocent girl trying to scare Ronnie and his goons off. My heart began to pound and I didn't know what to do. Gabby had seen everything. I looked to my right to see her staring at me, with tears coming down her face. Carlos just so happened to be there. He ran out and ran up to me and made sure I was okay. "They called the police, get the fuck outta here. Give me the gun." he told me. I looked at him like he was crazy. I was sure I was going to juvie behind the shooting. Carlos was going to look out for me though. I handed him the gun and he helped me and Gabby to his car. He pushed us into the backseat and ran over to the drivers side. He sped off before the police could arrive. I didn't know what he did with the gun after the fact, all i knew was that I never saw it again.

It took them about three years to catch up with me. Countless hours spent watching video tapes of the shooting and they had finally pinpointed me as the number one suspect. I was sure I was about to finally go down for what I had done. Honestly, I was ready to take whatever punishment they were going to give me. I spent about a month in that jail before Marco came to bail me out. It surprised me because I wasn't aware that he could.

The ride back to my house was quiet until he broke the silence. "She dropped the charges. She wants to get on with her life and she doesn't wanna go back and deal with that." he told me. I sighed a breath of relief. I didn't need a case, I had too much going for myself. I appreciated everything that my family and Stephanie had done for me while I was locked up. Stephanie had visited a few times. Maria's aunt didn't allow her to come and see me, her reason being because she didn't wanna stress her out while she was pregnant. I understood but then again I wanted to know if my baby had been alright while I was gone. "Has anybody heard from Maria?" I asked Marco. He shook his head. "Yeah...her and the baby are doing alright. If you had been out, you would've known that. All I can say is you better thank your lucky stars because if that girl had gone through with the case, you would've been sitting down for a while. Get out here, stay outta trouble and graduate, man. That's what's important." he told me. I felt what he was saying. I had been gettin into some trouble lately to make money. That wasn't worth it anymore. I had to get myself together before it was too late.

The funny thing is, Maria's wasn't the first place I went to when I was fresh out. I found myself standing at Stephanie's front door, ringing her doorbell. She opened the door and stared at me for the longest time. Neither one of us could say a thing...all we could do is stare at each other...