The Kick Back

New Grounds

I knocked softly on Antonio's front door. There was no need for any unwanted attention, the Hispanics were known for being alert and attentive. They knew when someone was not from there side of town. Had anyone seen me I could have been dead on sight. As if I didn't feel dead already, the Hispanics would have made my death a reality. Before I could get any deeper in thought, Antonio swung open the door. He flashed a bright white smile. "Hey baby", he planted a soft kiss on my cheek. A sense of relief fell over me. For once in a long time I felt safe. No more rape, crying myself to sleep, or even looking over my back. I stood in the middle of his living room amazed. Their home was beautiful.

Small plants sat in the windows soaking up the California sun light. Family portraits covered each wall. One picture in particular caught my attention. A guy holding a new born baby sat above the entertainment center. Who ever this guy was looked as if he was at peace. The way he smiled looking down at this child, showed that he was in love. My heart melted at the sight of the picture. I knew that one day that would be me. Whatever had happened in my teenage years would be put behind me, and all the love I had would be given to my child and husband.

Antonio grabbed my hand pulling me towards the back of the house. "You can sleep in my moms room." The guesture was nice, but it was best to leave his mother's room the way she left it. "I think it would be best if I slept with you." Antonio paused in his tracks letting out a small chuckle. "You sure you want to do that?" Throwing him a sexy look, I wanted Antonio. Despite what was going on I couldn't wait to feel him again. "When you are ready you'll come to me." Our flirt season was cut short when that feeling came to me. My whole facial expression changed as I tried to hide it. "Where's the bathroom?", Antonio point in the direction of the bathroom. Deep down I was embarrassed, but it was either head to the bathroom, or having an accident.

Looking the bathroom door behind me, I stared in the mirror. My situation was fucked up and I was even more ashamed of what was to come. Raising the toilet set up I proceed to throw up. I couldn't really hide or even disguise the noise. Silently I was cry on the inside. I knew that I was pregnant, but I couldn't tell Antonio. How would he take the news of his girl friend being pregnant by another man? her own uncle at that. Keeping this pregnancy a secret would be the hardest thing for me to do, but I didn't want to risk losing him again.

Fixing myself, I wiped the little bit of vomit from around my mouth. Flushing the toilet, I stood to make sure everything had gone down the drain. Washing my hands I took once last glance in the mirror. Opening the door I greeted Antonio with a smile. I hated to keep secrets but this was one secret I needed to go through alone.

We both had a lot on out plates, and in just a few weeks. I would be making a decision that would be with me for the rest of my life. Never in my life did I think I would go through with it, but it wouldn't be fair for me to birth an inbred baby. Technology was not advanced enough, and birthing a child with disabilities would not be fair. My plan would be to sneak out while Antonio and Gabby were sleep, take care of my business and make my way back to Antonio's house. I don't know how he felt about abortion, but hope that one day he would understand why I did it.

This would be one the hardest decisions in my life. I loved my child but it wasn't fair for my baby to suffer. Antonio please understand....