The Reluctant Apprentice: Friends Forever

You deserve love

POV: 1st - Alex
                                   I said across from Ryan at lunch. Normally we wouldn't be meeting each other at lunch as he normally eats earlier in the day, but right now I really needed him and so it was time to just talk, one on one. After finishing my food, making sure I swallowed it first because I'm not an animal, I said rather briefly, "So you know about John right, me and him are kind of... We got into a bit of a disagreement yesterday..." I try not to look scared or anything because I wasn't in all reality. It didn't affect me as much as I thought it should. I'd had figured, before all this, that I had a lot more my humanity than I actually did because I bounced right back from yesterday too quickly.
                                 He gave me a very serious look as he leaned in to hear what I was about to say, "About?"
"Well how do I put it... I think I can see some of his memory sometimes when I'm dreaming and I saw something pretty fucked up. And you know it's been lingering in the back of my head and I just don't quite know what to do with myself, I guess... In fact it's not the fact that I saw something bad that's been upsetting me, it's the fact that I didn't react as strongly as I thought I would... Do you think I'm a monster?" I watched as he looked at me and then he gave me that look he always gave me when I said stuff like that. He responded, "You're not a monster, it's not your fault you don't feel a ton of empathy towards people like you keep saying they do suck.... But at the same time, you scare me sometimes and I'm worried things are gonna get worse."
"I just think maybe I'm a little overwhelmed right now because I just think that maybe... I'm the problem here. Like this is really cool and I don't wanna throw it away, but it's really draining on me. And if I'm being honest with you because I feel like the more I do this, the more I am exposing how bad of a person I really am... School has been just so draining mentally and so stupid and it's all this work and I- I just don't even see the point in it anymore... Life is so short and fleeting and yet if I'm being honest with you I don't even know what I'd be doing right now if I was told I had five days left to live. I feel like I'm just wasting my life. Maybe this opportunity is what I need and is my only chance at doing something with my life even if it means I might look like a villain, but that just pisses me off because like I just wanna like live a simple life with someone who loves me and it's never gonna happen..." In a very serious voice, he responded, "You're not this ugly monster. You deserve love you. I just want you to understand that if this thing is upsetting you then we can get rid of it together you don't have to deal with something that's gonna put more stress on your life..."
All I could do is shake my head for no, "Liar..."

POV: 1st - Ryan
                                  I just don't understand, why she can't understand. No matter how much I tell her she still doesn't believe me and now there's a possibility this disgusting monster is going to try to do something to her. I guess I have no choice but to handle this myself. Next time I see this thing I'm tossing it into a fucking fire pit, "Hey we should probably head home."
                                 "Are you walking me home," she asked me like an absolute scared child even though we were less than like five minutes away from her dorm. I shook my head slightly, "No I have to do some work when I get home. But hey you should bring John to dinner to hang out with us again as a group." She looked at me while rubbing her neck, "I don't know it might not be a good idea... But only if you promise you'll be on your best behavior, no trying to stomp on his head?" I gave her that look the one I normally make when she says something slightly funny, "No promises." We laughed and I went home with the intention of getting my wallet so I can buy some lighter fluid and maybe a lighter.