Just Knowing You

Chapter 1: Genevieve

The worst thing about living in the same place your whole life is that you know everyone, but no one all at once.

I have a good group of friends here, but sometimes it seems like everyone's a stranger.

Woah, that's some poetic stuff.

This idea may be from the "crippling anxiety" people have said that I have, but I disagree. I think it's because people here don't really talk to me, I don't think they like me that much either, which I know you must be thinking I'm jumping to conclusions right?

I don't think so...

When I have a class without my best (best) friends, I won't have a partner for projects to work on, and I won't even utter a single word the whole period.

It sucks major balls.

Now whatever, I can take being ignored by my peers for a couple more years before I graduate, I mean I'm a junior this year, so only a little longer.

What I'm about to tell you may shock you too, but I'm 15. So close to 16, yet so far.

My birthday is mid-October, and you must be wondering: 'how're you 15 AND a junior, Genevieve?'

Well, I'm glad you have an interest in my life, SO my parents are pretty studious; my dad being a professor, my mom being a nurse, they love to push me to my limits in school and one of the limits they happened to want to push is when to enroll me in school.

I don't really blame them for enrolling me earlier than I was supposed to be, because they have said I was a fast learner when I was a baby.

I started talking when I was 12 months apparently, and they thought that meant that I was a genius. That, and the fact that my mother made me listen to Beethoven, and Chopin in the womb.

Anyways, I'm getting sidetracked, back to it. I'm never first choice.

Maybe not everyone, but it feels like it all the time in my brain, I should maybe mention that to my therapist actually.

I mean, why do I only really have 3 friends? I, of course, have more friends, but they aren't friends who know me. They're people who start a conversation with me during school because I'm the best they've got at the moment. Granted it may all be my fault, because I'm not much of a talker with people I don't know, but when I'm with my friends I talk all the time. I wish people wanted to get to know me is my point, and my dumb brain thinks because no one really talks to me everyone hates me.

Okay, you're right I'm jumping to conclusions. Sorry, I'm not the most reliable person when it comes to having solid, permanent, opinions. I'm always changing my mind or finding more ways to discredit things I just said. Bad habit, I know. 'Always the overthinker', that's what my mom always says.

Speaking of my mom, she's driving me to school today, because I still don't have my license.

I know this is the third time I've had a 'first day at this school', but it still leaves me shaking in the outfit I had picked out a week prior.

I specifically chose an airy shirt, in case I have cold sweats and I sweat a lot. and wore dark mildly ripped jeans just because they match the cute shirt and are kinda baggy so I can sit in weird, oddly comfortable positions in the annoying little desks all classes have.

I put my hair up with a claw clip so I don't fiddle with my hair every two seconds like I normally do when I'm nervous.

I seriously don't know how I'm gonna make it through the day without having sensory overload or getting a panic attack.