Just Knowing You

Chapter 42: Genevieve

"Hi, my name is Genevieve Beck, I'm here for my appointment with Amy in the psychology department..."

"Okay, hun, I'll just need you to verify your date of birth please."

"It's 10/7/2005."

I watch as the receptionist types on her computer, making the satisfying clicky sounds long nails make on keyboards.

"Alright hun, you are all checked in!" She gives me a little smile, warmth filling her eyes before she goes back to busying herself with work on her computer.

"Thank you, so much!" I say before turning on my heel and shuffling towards an empty seat in the middle of the waiting room.

Taking the time to inspect my surroundings I look at the various people that walk through the room. Doctors in pantsuits looking busy and stressed, rubbing at their forehead while their hands are holding items like coffee, a phone, a wallet, as well as another phone.

I see a couple walk past me holding each other's arms and smiling down with affection and love filling their eyes at a black picture with white smudges on it. The way they point out little things on the photo and giggle to each other like little kids as they make their way towards the wide doors of the hospital makes me grin stupidly.

Not even 20 minutes later I see Amy round the corner, "hi Genevieve, how have you been?"

I smile at her as I get up from my chair and we make our way towards her room while making small talk.

When we enter the small, dimly lit room I take my usual seat in the middle of the green fabric couch. I grin as I see the fidget toys on the side table next to me, grabbing the usual pop it one to entertain myself.

I love this room. The way Amy decorated makes it feel so cozy and almost makes you want to share your deepest darkest secrets because you feel so at home.

"So, what are the updates?" Amy asks once she's settled in her leather chair with her notepad and pen.

"Um, well nothing much... I got a boyfriend..."

A smile spreads across Amy's face as she writes a couple things down. My face instantly turns the same shade as a tomato as I furiously play with the object in my hands.

"Well that's exciting!"

"Yeah..."

"So who is this new boyfriend?" She asks, and suddenly it feels like I'm gossiping with Scar, Vic, or Naomi on a random weekend at a sleepover.

I should ask them about going to that party next weekend...

"His name is Otis," I glance down at the ground before continuing. "He took me out on our first date on Halloween... and we've been dating for almost two months!"

"I take it, the relationship has been good then?"

"Yes, it has been. He's so kind to me. I've never had a boyfriend before, and I don't really know how relationships work, but this seems like a really, really good one." I look up at Amy and see her eyes shine with pride for me and I stay silent as she shifts the conversation.

"And your mom? How's it going with her?" A flash of worry shows in her eyes and I shift in my seat.

"She's been gone for a while... her and dad went on a business trip of some sorts... and now my sister Eloise is staying with me." I wipe my hands off on the fabric of my pants in anxiety as I wait for her next question.

"And how is your relationship with your sister?" She asks as she jots something down on her notepad.

"It's... um... it's okay."

"'Okay'? You don't sound so sure with your answer..."

"Well, she's not the best right now... b-but I think that's just because of her depression... I know that she's not always in control of her emotions or actions when she gets like this, and since she said a couple mean things to me I'm guessing her mental health really isn't doing that good. I'm trying my best to push past everything and just ignore the comments so I can focus on building our relationship and make it so that the time she spends back home isn't ruined by me..."

"Well, I'm all about trying to look for the good in people. I think that's a great idea, but what I don't think is a great idea is you pushing down your emotions just to make someone else happy." The pen moves against the paper briefly as I play with the fidget in my hands nervously, nodding my head to show I understand what she's saying.

"I get that relationships with sisters are complicated. Most relationships are complicated. What isn't fair to you—that makes things even more complicated in your head—is dismissing the fact that you have emotions just like Eloise and you're a person just like she is.

"What I'm saying is: a person shows their true colors when they're tested in life, and Eloise is showing you her true colors right now. If they aren't good colors, you should talk to her about it. I know that's probably not a confrontation you'd enjoy but it might make things easier in the long run. Most importantly, I want you to know that you don't deserve to be treated badly."

I nod my head and mull over her words in agreement. I know people don't deserve to be treated badly, but sometimes it's hard to apply that for myself. "I think because I've never really had the highest self-esteem, it's hard for me to think I deserve good things."

"We've been working on that though, haven't we?" She says raising her eyebrows at me with a twinge of knowingness.

"Yeah..." I smile, "the mantras in the mirror are doing good, and so are the post-it's... I just have a hard time applying those things in real life. I have gotten better with Otis though."

"How do you mean?" She crosses her legs and sets her hands in her lap before I go on.

"In the beginning of our relationship, kinda, I never thought I deserved to be with him. It seemed like a wild concept that was so out of reach. I had so much doubt in myself. Now I think I deserve him, and my friends, and my cat, and usually I'm happy with how all the relationships in my life are going."

"That's really great Genevieve."

Our conversation idles for the last 20 minutes of our session and I ponder over the things she told me while I drove home, wondering what I would do about Eloise.

I hope when I talk to her it doesn't severely come back to bite me in the butt.

I just want our relationship to be good. Nothing else.

I want my sister.

｡ﾟ❁ུ۪ °ₒ 𓂂 ˚ 𓂂 ₒ ° ₒ 𓂂 ˚˖⋆

VERY short chapter, but one necessary for the ending...

Ending! Awgjsondskfms I know! :(((

My first book!!! That's crazy!!!

Thank you guys for the reads and Ily so much!!!

Q of the day: favorite character in Mean Girls?