Just Knowing You

Chapter 4: Genevieve

It's finally Friday.

Not much on the, you know who front, but I've barely thought about him the past week. Occasional eye contact remembrance, but it's pretty much forgotten.

I straightened it out with Victoria the day after I told her about the eye contact and sort of lied when I said: 'I don't actually like him,' 'it was just a spur of the moment thing,' and 'I got over it.'

I don't exactly know if she believed me but, if she doesn't believe me that's fine because I know it's true. (mostly true).

Honestly, though it doesn't really matter though because he's still in two of my classes, I'll see him every day for half the school year, and who knows how long after that. I'll just have to put on my big girl pants and get over this 'crush' I have.

It should be worth mentioning that I, Genevieve Lynn Beck, have never had a boyfriend before.

I know probably very shockingly, boys never really seem to find me all that enticing. Apparently being a 15-year-old girl who had braces up until 7 months ago, who reads, and doesn't talk much, isn't exactly the embodiment of a guy magnet...

That's why I think I compare myself to my sister so much.

If I was my sister or even one of my friends. They have no problems getting guys, well they've all had boyfriends, and it's not like guys are exactly falling to their feet, but they have some experience.

More than me.

Scarlett and Victoria aren't virgins. That's what I'm getting at, and Naomi has had a boyfriend, but they didn't go very far because he was 'saving himself for marriage.' Naomi told us she didn't really care that they never had sex though because the relationship wasn't a very long one.

So, from the lack of attention in the men area, I've developed this fear that I'll never get in a relationship.

I always think I'm never going to be desired or whatever. I just want someone to like me. It may be time to close all of the romance books I've been reading lately, but I physically can't pry those books out of my bookshelf if I tried.

I could never bear to part with my babies.

Also something I need to talk about with my therapist.

Wait I forgot when do I see her next? Is it next we-

Gosh, dang it. Apparently planning out your next session with your therapist takes up a big chunk of your mind, and your ability to watch where you're going, because as I was rounding the corner to go down the hallway on my way to math class, I never slowed down or looked if anyone was coming around the corner and smacked my books right into the chest of the one and only.

"Ah Gosh, sorry! I wasn't watching where I was going!" I say bending down to pick up the pencil and book I dropped. "Sorry." Apologies slip from my mouth as I slide past him pausing when he says,

"Wait," I turn around startled, he said something to me. "Here, you dropped this too." He held up a pen I had dropped and I took a step forward to grab it while looking down at my shoes.

"Thank you," I said and turned around and walked to my seat in the room.

I dropped my stuff under my chair for more room on the top of the small space used as the desk.

I have a love hat relationship with these desks. I hate how small they are, but sometimes you'll get the special ones where the chair area will be big enough to bend your leg over the bar on the side of the chair. I usually sit like this whenever I can, it's more comfortable to me.