Wilhelm's pov
(After a month)
All those years I've trained my body to wake up at 6:30 am..and so I did today..I took my phone carefully not you wake the little angel in my arms...
You're probably wondering how things are going this one month..well...Simon is okay...mom is okay..dad is okay..everyone is okay..but me?!..god no I'm still a mess...but...I'm giving the illusion that I'm finally okay with myself everyday...even when I'm with Simon...I'm scared that if I show him completely how I feel he will get bored of the situation and leave eventually...
School is going okay...august is still trying to talk to me about the video...Simon has changed my life...I finally have someone by my side...and I know he loves me...but sometimes times the dark thoughts are coming back.... Terrifying me...when I'm finally starting feeling better with myself they are coming to remind me who I am..or who the world think I am..who my mother and father think I am...even if I'm not that person...the are making me believe the opposite..
they are pushing me against a wall corner saying things that make me questioning about a lot of things... "what if Simon doesn't want to marry me one day?!"
"What if he gets tired of all the royal life situation?!"
"What if he gives up on me?!"
"What if he gives up on Us!?"
I mean...I'm impressed he is still here..but I'm grateful and very lucky to have him here...
I'm sure most people would say the world would be a better place without me..I don't disagree...In fact I've been trying to leave it for as long as I can remember..but...I'm working on it...I swear...I will try be healthy again...for him...I would do anything for him...to be honest..he is...the only reason I'm still fighting...for now at least...if everything goes well in some years someone else will be a reason too...they will be running around the house yelling and laughing...and they will be calling him dad...
He will be a great father actually..he loves kids...just imagine...a little girl with light brown (mix Wilmon hair) long curly hair like Simon's,light chocolate brown skin,soft lips with a very cute shape like Simon's,beautiful lashes and hazel eyes like mine...she would be perfect and powerful...don't get me wrong I would love to have a boy too but...i love the idea of having a little girl...
S:what are you thinking?!
He woke me up from my thoughts...
W:nothing...
I turned around and looked at him...
S:come on tell me...
W:mmm...no..
S:why?!
W:because I do not want to.
S:fine.
I gave him a kiss...
W:what do you think about going to the palace today to spend the weekend?!
S:sure.
W:I haven't asked you...have you talked to Sara?!
S:nope...and I don't want to...
W:come on...she is your sister...
S:I know but...it's complicated...
W:okay..
S:how are you feeling?!
W:good why?!
S:just checking.
W:okay?!
We got out of the bed and got dressed and then we opened the door..
W:good morning Malin.
