I felt numb...like the whole world went quite...I couldn't believe what I heard.
W:what-what do you mean you're sick?!
Q:I'm sick...Wilhelm...I have dementia...and...I'm starting to forget things...so-
W:no...no no no..mom...pls..
Q:I can't do anything Wilhelm...
W:you can take medication or something and you will be fine right?!
Q:no...unfortunately no...
W:no...
I ran out...I was crying..yes I hate my mother for what she did to me and Simon...but..I don't want he to die because of whatever she has! She's still my mother...
As I was running I bumped into Simon and Erik...
S:wille what-
W:no no leave me the fuck alone!
S:I-I just want to help you-
W:I don't want your fucking help Simon!
I shouted at him and ran out to the gardens...I sat down.drought my knees to my chest and my head to my knees and continued crying...I hate it...I hate it all...
After around five minutes I felt a hand on my shoulder...
W:leave me alone Simon...
I said without looking who it was..
E:it's me...
I looked up and saw Erik looking at me softly..He sat next to me and I got into his hug...
W:she's sick Erik...
E:I know...
I stayed silent...I couldn't talk...almost one and a half hour went by when I decided to talk...
W:where's Simon?!
E:I think he is still inside or he left for his house...
W:fuck...I shouted at him...I'm horrible..
E:no..don't say that...you were upset..and that's okay...
W:do you...do you remember when you found out about the pills?!
E:yes?! What about it?!
W:I uh...do you remember what you made me promise?!
E:yes..that the next time you don't feel okay you will talk to someone instead of talking them...
W:can I...
I stopped and cleaned my throat...
W:can I talk to you?!...
E:yes Ofc..
I was still in his arms...
W:I'm lost Erik..
E:why?!
W:everything is so complicated and...I don't know..Everyday I'm telling myself the same thing when I wake up.. «be careful with what you're doing you don't want to disappoint everyone,you don't want to lose them,you don't want to lose him»..and..i just...I don't know...
E:you haven't disappointed me wille..and Simon loves you...we were talking about you when you were talking with mom...he loves you way more than you think...you haven't disappoint him...
W:can I..can I ask you a question?!
E:sure anything
W:when will we tell the world you're alive?!
