We usually want to keep good relationships a secret. Sage and Sekani's didn't start right away but they get there and once they do they keep it to themselves for a while.
I'm a month into my Junior year and I like it. I have straight A's and even though I don't talk to them, my teachers like me. They all know why I don't talk though, well I talk but you know just not to them. It's kinda embarrassing that for the past 11 years I've had to hand a paper to my teachers basically saying, hi I'm Sage and I have autism.
But, it is what it is. I get picked on everyday, I'm use to it by now. I still do cry when I get home sometimes because I just wanna be normal. Most people think I'm weird and mute, but that's not the case. I want to talk to people and make friends but when I come close to doing it my heart gets tight, I start breathing heavy and my ears start ringing. Meaning I'm about to have a panic attack.
I talk to my mom and older brother and that's it. I have days where I don't speak at all, but I barely have those days now. They still occur from time to time but not as often. Right now I'm getting ready for school.
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I wear baggy clothes because I know I'm not cute in anyway and it's already bad enough I have to show my face. I'm not gonna show my body too. I only where "tight" clothes in the house.
But lemme explain my body type real quick. My stomach isn't flat at all, it's like a little pudge. Like if I was to wear low waist jeans it'll definitely hang over a little bit. My thighs and butt are a bit too big. And my boobs aren't small small but they're not that big, I'm a C cup.
When I was finished getting ready I went downstairs and to the front because that's usually where my brother is waiting for me. I froze when I got down there.
Von- "oh shit, princess i'm sorry" because of my condition I've grown to be socially anxious. Usually he'll tell me when his friends are here but he didn't. I looked around at them and felt like they were judging me so my breathing started to get uneven. Von took me away from them and into the kitchen to calm me down.
Von- "i'm sorry, i forgot to tell you" he said hugging me to calm me down
Me- "it's fine"
Von- "no it's not. we were all gon a ride to school together because we got stuff to do after school. you ok with driving today?"
Me- "yea"
Von- "ok" he kissed the top of my head and left. I made sure they were gone before I went out to my car. My cool grey Audi A4.
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I don't drive that often because Von usually takes me but here we are. I made it to school and went to my locker first. I put my jacket and my afternoon class stuff up.
Ace- "hey sage" I kinda jumped when he spoke to me. I don't speak to my brothers friends and they don't speak to me...well all except Ace. I guess we've "known" each other since 6th grade but he never tried to talk to me until Freshman year. I'm not sure why though.
I never speak back but he just keeps trying.
Ace- "let me walk you to your first period" with my head down I shook my head no
Ace- "c'mon sage" I just closed my locker and walked away. I went through all my classes up until lunch.
Von💙
can you come with me to get food?
yea gimme a minute
ok
my friends wanna come...
oh um nvm
i'll ride with you they can take my car
ok
I walked out to my car and waited inside then after a couple of minutes he got in.
Von- "where you wanna go"
Me- "taco bell"
Von- "girl we got school, you tryna fuck up yo stomach" I laughed and drove off. I pulled up to taco bell and we got out, his friends pulled up around the same time.
Von ordered my food for me and I went to go find a table. Once the food was here they sat at a table next to me.
Von- "you ok?" I nodded my head yes and he went back over to his friends. I put my airpods in and started watching Supernatural while eating. During that I saw a hand tapping the table and looked up, it was Ace. I took one of my airpods out.
Ace- "hey" I just looked at him
Ace- "your outfit looks nice today" I looked down at it and shook my head no
Ace- "it does, it's very uh...brown" I would've laughed but no, I did crack a very small smile. My lips were still closed.
Ace- "seeee you think i'm funny" I just kept giving him a blank expression after that
Ace- "i think you should let me ride back with you" my eyes got wide
Ace- "shit i'm sorry, ian mean to scare you or nun. i just wanna be your friend" I shook my head no
Ace- "aw sage that hurts my feelings" and he put a hand over his heart
Von- "you will be fine. stop harassing my sister, but we gotta get back to the school" I got up and threw my trash out and we left.
Me- "why yo friend talking to me?"
Von- "he wants to be your friend" he said laughing
Me- "why"
Von- "why not"
Me- "it's weird, he's been doing this for the past almost three years"
Von- "i know it's not easy to talk to people, but talk to him"
Me- "he's a whore." I stated simply
Von- "you kiss yo momma wit that mouth?" he said with a scrunched up face, I laughed at him
Von- "but ian mean talk like that"
Me- "still. and i get enough attention not talking and being your sister. ion need more by becoming his friend and people see us together. his hoes might attack me" he laughed but I was being serious
Von- "attention from being my sister?"
Me- "now you know y'all lil group is known in school and everywhere else y'all go and people know i'm your sister"
Von- "yea i guess" we pulled up to the school
Von- "well, make it through the day"
Me- "i'll try" we said our I love yous and went back in school.
