Chapter Forty Two

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I sit by Mateo's bed, my head in my hands. It's been three weeks now. Elias was discharged a week ago. Damien was discharged four days before him. We unintentionally met his daughter, a beautiful fifteen year old. She was found wondering the streets downtown. Luckily, the police bright her here for an exam. Despite Lorenzo's foul claims, her body had no significant sexual trauma. No physical harm appeared to have came to her, just enough mental to last a life time.

When they went to look up her emergency contact, they found that her dad was here. He's been trying to get into contact with Kinsley, but she's been with me everyday when Elias can't be here.

I struggle to leave Mateo's side. There's no change in his state. They tried to persuade us to withdrawal care, even going as far as mentioning the cost of keeping him on life support. Elias had a ball with that one, pulling out a large amount of cash and telling the doctors he makes more in a week than they do in a year. He threw the money at the doctor before demanding more options. We moved him to a facility after that, who was happy to take him.

Knowing his hard demeanor, this isn't how he would want to live. A catheter in his penis, and tube down his throat. Unable to talk, move, or even open his eyes. There's still this slither of faith in my soul that he'll wake up and rip everything from his body. Hell, I'd be happy with a finger twitch. His family has been staying in the city. I met his mother and his other sister. They thanked me for loving their son, and I told them I'm not done loving him yet.

I haven't told anyone about the pregnancy. Not even Kinsley. I did get an ultrasound, I found out I'm two and a half months pregnant. Tameka said she had saw the swelling in my belly, not knowing if it was a food baby or a real one. I was lucky not to have miscarried due to stress. I've had some nausea. I've had weird cravings, but I really haven't ate that much. The few times I have thrown up I've just blamed it on the situation. I think Kinsley is catching on, but she's letting me live in peace. I've stayed in contact with Tameka, we actually asked her to take a job here and work for Mateo. What she wasn't expecting was the money Elias gives her on top of her hourly rate here.

I lay back in the chair, my hand resting on my belly. I rub it in circles. I'm building my own little human, but I can't seem to find excitement in it quite yet. It does not seem real. This was something I would want to sit both boys down with a cheesy gift that makes their eyes light up in realization.

Watching their eyes widen when they see the little onesie folded in the box. I sigh as I am deep in thought.

I need to tell Elias.

A knock on the door draws me out of my own misery. Kristen, Mateo's mom, walks in with two cups and a bag of food in her hand. "Knock knock," she sets everything down on the side table. She leans down to her son, caressing his cheek and giving him a soft kiss on the cheek. "Good morning, mamas boy. Hello Michelle, how're you doing today sweetheart?" She gives me a kiss as well.

I give her a small smile. "Doing well, Mrs. Michaels. How're you?"

"Michelle next time you call me misses I'm gonna have to pull your ear! It's momma or Kristen, nothing in between." Her smile always brings a warmth to my heart. She's genuinely such a nice woman. "My baby never brought a woman home before. When he told me about you," she stops and smiles as if she's reminiscing. "I was so excited, thank the good Lord for blessing him with a woman as beautiful as you."

"Now, eat this food I brought and feed my grand baby." She sips her drink as she sits on the chair across from me, her cheeks curled up as she fights a smile.

My mouth opens and closes, unsure of what to say. Am I getting fatter already? "Don't look so surprised, my dear. A mom knows. She just knows, and I didn't know for sure until I seen that there look on your face."

My cheeks flush, my hand unintentionally going to my stomach. "I find it very hard to believe you'd be pregnant with my grand baby and Mateo nor Elias not telling me. Them big babies tell me everything.  They don't know, do they?" She hums, motioning to the bag of food.

I open it up, setting it all out on the table. "No ma'am. I found out the same night everything happened. It just hasn't felt right to tell anyone yet." I look towards Mateo's peaceful face. "Not until he wakes up."

She sighs, taking her sons hand in hers. She sends his vacant body a soft smile. "Babygirl, I love my son more than anything in the world. Don't tell his sisters," she send a wink. "But whether he wakes up or not, that is his and Elias' baby. I never understood the bond they shared. They found you, and you took them both with no questions asked. Elias is that baby's father too. Trust me, pregnancy doesn't feel real until you tell your spouse, or spouses." She strokes his hand lovingly.

I eat my food quietly. She's right and I can't argue with that. "I love him, you know. Your son. More than I thought possible. He deserves to be a father to our baby. What happens if he doesn't wake up? What if," I begin to mumble, "what if it's his biological child? How do I explain that to our child?"

She waves her hand hand in the air, dismissing the thought. "Biological makeup doesn't matter in your situation. That baby has two fathers, and it's something your child will come to know wether Mateo is awake or not."

I finish the sandwich, washing it down with the soda she brought. "What I do know us that Elias is awake. And unknowing. He's at the house showering." She raises an eyebrow.

I can feel my heart rate rising at the thought of the conversation. "I'll be back then," I decide.

"Be safe my dear, I'll be here when you get back."

I nod my head, grabbing my keys. The drive to the house is long. Or maybe it just feels that way. After the incident, Elias sold the house as is, bullet holes and all. He bought an even bigger house deeper into the country. It's beautiful, but it just doesn't feel like home. Pulling into the long driveway I stare at it, unmoving.

It takes a few minutes, but I conjure up the the courage to walk in through the front doors.

"Babe? That you?" Elias calls out.

Putting my keys on the table, I follow his voice. "What're you doing?" I rub my fingers across his back, pressing my face against it.

"Putting Mateo's clothes in the new dresser I bought." He hasn't acknowledged the possibility that he might not come home. It's kind of refreshing, but it is not healthy for him.

I grab his hand, pulling him to Mateo's bed and sitting him down on it. I look over at the dresser, deciding to change into one of Mateo's shirts before continuing. Elias plays with the hem of the shirt, a distant look in his eye. "We need to talk." I whisper.

"What is it? Is it Mateo? Did he wake up?" He perks up.

"No, no baby. I mean, it does have something to do with Mateo but there's no change today my love." I grab his hand.

"Then what?"

I look at him, smiling softly. My heart feels like it's stuck in my throat. "I, uh, we are. We are pregnant, again."

He looks at me in shock. He stays silent for a few moments. Multiple emotions come across his face, ending in a wide smile. It doesn't quite reach his eyes but it does bring a tad bit of light back to them. He pushes me down onto the bed, kissing me. I giggle against his lips. He grabs my leg and hikes it up onto his hip. "We're pregnant," he says in shock. "We're pregnant!" He yells. He pulls my shirt up to my chest, his hand resting against my belly. Kisses cover my stomach, sending butterflies up my spine. "Daddy is here," he whispers against it.

This feels so different, so new. My eyes snap down to him when I fell a drop of water land on my skin. "Elias," I whisper.

Tears fall freely from his face, his hands never stopping from rubbing my belly. "Mateo should be here," his voice is soft and timid. "I don't know how to cope without him." Brown eyes look back at me.

"Me neither," pulling him towards me by his hand. "We have to, together." I choke out. "We don't have a choice." I whisper.

"I love you." He whispers, holding me as if his life depends on it.

"I love you too." And we just lay here. For what feels like days, but in reality it is only minutes.

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