CHERISH || Jikook

Chapter 31

'I can't! I can't accept your love because I have already accepted her love and no one can come in between me and her.'

The words echoed in the silent room, making everyone present in the room numb. Jimin closed his eyes as he tried calm himself down by taking deep breaths. Soon, the moment he calmed down, realisation hit him badly as he immediately opened his eyes and looked at the three. The shook look on everyone's face was heartbreaking to them to which he once again looked down and sighed.

"I... Whatever I said is totally true. I.. I love her and for her I can do anything. This is the truth. I never in my life thought that I could ever love someone in this life but... but the moment she came in my life, everything changed and it changed for good. My life started to revolve around her. She become the center of my world and... and slowly and softly, she became my world." Jimin poured his heart out as he closed his eyes.

"I... I'm not gonna hide anything from you and the members. I will tell everything about what happened in my life in the past five years, but give me sometime, I'll tell mine story of my life too. So much happened in my life and I have been through so much pain, hate, accusations, self insecurities, drastic changes but I have also gained unconditional love, support, genuine friendship, self love, happiness and a Home. I have lost many feelings and people but I have gained true relations and many loved ones and most importantly, her. I'm not gonna say that I have suffered a lot, you all have suffered a lot in your own hardships, but I can say that all my suffering finally paid me and my final relief was, her." Jimin whispered the last part before continuing.

"I'm gonna be honest with you, Jungkook. I felt everything for you. I felt that feeling for you and that feeling was love. I loved you, I have loved you so much that in your love, I almost forgot to love myself too. I have loved you so much that at some point in my life, I have worshiped that love. But that was wrong, that was so, so, so wrong. That wasn't healthy, Jungkook. I was destroying myself and I feel relieved that I got myself out of that unhealthy cycle." Jimin opened his eyes as he directly looked at devastated Maknae.

Not having enough strength to look at Jungkook's devastated state, Jimin moved his eyes towards Hoseok and looked at him with so much adoration before he continuing, "You don't know for like how many times, I thank God, for blessing me with the people who not only loved me but also stayed with me in my most crucial times. They didn't made any empty promises to me, but instead they proved their love to me by standing beside me in every single situation. I wasn't myself, I wasn't in my right mind at that time, but Hoseok Hyung stayed with me and helped me to think properly. He stayed with me for like every single second. From the moment he heard my first cries of pain, he never left. He stayed stuck with me. He helped me just like a big brother take care of his little brother." Hoseok smiled through tears as he shook his head, to tell Jimin, not to cry. The words hit Taehyung like bullets as he immediately looked at Jungkook with so many emotion. Betrayal, pain, agony, but most importantly Hate reflected through his eyes towards the Makane direction.

'You lied.'

Taehyung was about to pounce at the still Maknae but Jimin's next words stopped him.

"Taehyung I know that you are guilty. I have seen pure guilt in your eyes, that's why I understand your ignorance towards me and our friendship too. Your guilt stopped you from coming back to me. I understand, but Taehyung, I want to know, you are guilty for the right reason or not, because I still don't know if you understood your actions or not. I'm not going to lie, I felt betrayed. Extremely betrayed that it broke me down completely. At that time, everyone was... everyone was giving me those.. those Looks. Those looks, which screamed worthlessness. Those looks made me believe that I was not worthy. I was not worthy of anything, not even worthy of any single feeling and I fucking believed those looks because... because I doubted myself. I failed myself the moment I doubted myself. I accepted every single hate, every single accusation which was thrown at me, without even realising what it actually was. I accepted everything without any single question just because I doubted myself." Jimin wailed as he let his pain out. He slid down to the ground as he cried his heart out. He cried for his old self, whom he tortured so much. He cried to shows his genuine guilt to his old self. He finally cried out for that 18 years old innocent boy, who was a victim of his own mistakes.