Dark Souls

86.in my blood

I'm going to kill your father, Katarina.
I'm going to kill your father, Katarina.
I'm going to kill your father, Katarina.
I'm going to kill your father, Katarina.
I'm going to kill your father, Katarina.

This is a nightmare. It must be. I lick my dry lips. I feel lightheaded...

Fuck, are the walls closing in on me?

Everyone's arguing around me, Evan and Wolf waving their guns around. But I can't hear a word they're saying because of the blood pushing through my ears. My lost eyes skitter to the diamond watch that Wolf slipped on my wrist. The diamonds seem to don't even shine anymore. They only burn and feel heavy.

"It was all a lie," I say in a cracked voice to myself, silencing everyone. Bile rises my throat as I quickly try to get rid of the watch resting on my wrist. It takes me a few seconds but when I finally manage to take it off, I let it fall to the floor with a heavy thud.

"He used you as bait, Kat," Victoria says, "I'll admit it was a good strategy, but trust me it won't work. Gian only cares about himself and getting what he wants."

Wolf shakes his head in denial, hurt flashing in his eyes as he picks up the diamond watch from the floor, "Katarina, let me explain—"

I take a deep, shaky breath. Hot tears running down my cheeks. My father, Gian Deluca, is the man who has Pearl? Oh god. Or has he killed her by now? Is he really the man who tried to shoot Wolf to death that night too?
My head spins. Wolf did use me as bait... but a part of me still understands his desperation. It has been so many years of him searching for her...

He still used you, Kat, my subconscious reminds me, It's all been a big, sick and twisted lie to get to your estranged father.

Wolf's distressed hands on my face pull me away from my perturbing thoughts. His skin on mine feels like acid. "Katarina—"

I push his hands away, "Is that the reason you took me with you that night at Cefalu? Did you already know I was his daughter? Were you planning on— killing me?"

His eyes shine with tears. The mixture of sadness and anger in them is evident, but I can't really believe anything that comes from his mouth anymore. He's drunk— and a liar. He's always fucking lying.

Wolf tries to grab my face, so many emotions settling in the crease between his eyes— still, I harshly push them away again.

"Answer me, Wolf," I cry.

"I— I found out when we were in Pantelleria already— and of course not! I never wanted to kill you! I was just—angry, desperate," he sighs sadly, biting his lower lip hard, "I know I fucked up—"

I shove him away, "You fucking liar!" I yell at him, "And here I was, about to leave everything and everyone for you!" I give him a wounded look, "How could I have been so stupid."

"You don't understand, Katarina. Even at first I was trying to convince myself that I could only use you to get to your father. But then when I saw you again at the Coppola's Estate and we kissed at the beach, I was so confused and then there was no doubt that I was falling for you—"

I give him a head-turning slap, silencing him. My hand stings, but not more than my aching heart. "Stop it with your bullshit," I hiss at him, harshly wiping the tears falling from my eyes, "Now everything makes sense."

He lifts his fingers to his red cheek, shocked. His eyes never meet mine as he sadly shakes his head, "That's the truth..." he whispers.

"Truth?! You don't even know what that word means!"
I laugh at myself, at my ingenuity, "Oh my fucking goodness. That's the real reason why you looked at me with so much hate sometimes, why you pulled away so many times!" I sniff, fighting back my tears, "Because I'm the daughter of the man who took the only one you've ever loved." I rest my hand on my stomach, feeling sick. Used. "You kissed me, fucked me— all while being disgusted by me for carrying his blood, by hating me even though I had fucking nothing to do with any of it!" I scream at him, "I didn't shoot you 11 years ago! I didn't fucking rape Pearl and took her from you and your family. So why the hell did I have to pay?"