Kaz Brekker imagines

Back to Where it Started

{part two} side note~ PLEASE keep in mind that this takes place much much much after the events in crooked kingdom! 

Y/N's head tilted to the side ever-so slightly, "Kaz?"

His head nodded of its own accord, and he looked like he was stuck in a trance as he held his breath. "What- I thought... You were in Ketterdam still. And now you're here?" She ran a hand through her hair and clutched the door with the other. She met his eyes once more, the same eyes the color of black coffee, the same eyes she found comfort in so many years ago. He was actually here.

He looked so different, now wearing a black suit and walking with a cane. He looked like a businessman. Her eyebrows furrowed when she saw the head of his cane was a crow's head, she couldn't remember him being fascinated by crows in any way. She couldn't help but admire how handsome he's gotten. His facial features are now sharp and matured, yet he was still her Kaz. She finally realized how long they've been standing there, "Um, come in. Please, I was just preparing dinner." She moved to the side and let him in.

He placed his case down by the door and closed it behind him. Following her to the kitchen, he sat himself down on one of the stools by the counter. He watched her move slowly around the kitchen before she paused and turned to him. "I'm sorry, but what are you doing here? It's been years and you've never come out to visit. I know you're busy with your new job and everything. Well, I guess it's not so new by now... But still."

Slightly amused by the fact that she still gets distracted so easily, before he replayed her question in his head. What was he doing here? "I-um. You see...? Uh-" He sighed in frustration with himself and kept his eyes down on the counter in front of him. Stuttering? He's stuttering? What's happened to him?

He didn't notice Y/N walk over and sit beside him while placing a comforting hand on his arm. When he flinched at the contact she slowly pulled her hand back. "Sorry... I forgot."

He shook his head, "No, please. Can you- Um. Can you-" She cut him off by placing her hand back on his arm in understanding. Her touch, feather-light and comforting. He took a deep breath and steeled his nerves. "I've missed you, Y/n/n. Ever since you left I've lost myself. And now I'm twenty-seven and I don't know who I am. I was told to come back to you, 'cause you know who I was before... Before we lost everything. I've never felt so helpless."

She looked at him with teary eyes. "Oh, Kaz... You haven't lost yourself. You've just forgotten, there's a difference." Kaz cut her off, "No, I have lost myself. I've been alone for so long, I feel like I'm on the run from myself. You don't know everything I've done, what I've become."

Her heart ached when she saw tears forming in his eyes. "Kaz, I know you. I know the boy I ran in the fields with. The boy I watched the stars with. I know Kaz Rietveld. He's my best friend. But know that you are not a different person just because you've changed your name. Though I'll admit Brekker has a nice ring to it."

She chuckled when he looked at her with wide eyes. "I know you, and I know what you've done. I heard all about that crazy Ice Court heist. And all the events that followed. You look like a bad man and your spirit doesn't move like it did before, but when I look at you, all I see is my Kaz. You're just tired. You need to find rest, go back to where it started." She grabbed his gloved hand, "I'm glad you came back home. I've missed you too."

Kaz held her hand tightly since he could feel her warmth through his leather skin. "Y/N?" She hummed in response. "Can I hug you?" She smiled softly, "Of course you can." With slow cautious movements, he pulled her to him and wrapped his arms around her small frame. She slowly wrapped her arms around his shoulders as he rested his head on her shoulder. He relished in the familiar feeling of her in his arms. Tears slid down his cheeks as she ran her hadn through his hair. "Is this okay?" Her voice was softer than a whisper. He nodded against her shoulder and rasped out a quiet 'yes'.

The two of them stayed there for a long time, in the arms of their childhood friend. No words were exchanged, just the comfort they had long forgotten.

~

"You remember what I used to call you?" Kaz shot her a stern look, "I remember... But I don't need you to call me that again." Y/N smirked, pushing some food around on her plate before whispering, "Kazzle Dazzle." She laughed when he groaned and covered his face with his glove less hands.

Kaz couldn't think of a time when he was so at peace. He finally found himself again. Something shifted when he was with Y/N again, he couldn't pinpoint exactly what it was, but he was a different man around her. He was Kaz Rietveld again, and he couldn't express how grateful he was. It was like finally taking a break from all the stress and horrors of his life in Ketterdam. It's been ten years since the whole Ice Court aftermath, and he thought that he was too far gone. Y/N didn't deserve to see the man he became, but he was grateful for her understanding spirit. For her letting him talk, and finally get everything off his chest, 'cause he knew he wouldn't be able to do that with anyone else.

Only her.