Kaz Brekker imagines

A New Type of Beautiful

The sinking feeling finally settled in Y/N's stomach as they unpacked the last box. Jesper and Wylan finally moved out, and sure she used to joke about needing Jesper out much sooner but now it actually happened. Next Inej takes off to sail the world and Nina leaves for a big mission. They all have to say goodbye and she wasn't ready for it. After years and years of being with each other every day and being strange teenage kids, they were growing up. Kaz always said they grew up already, all of them did. And of course, that was true to a certain degree, but they also adjusted and they found a new way to still be kids.

"Thank you all for helping us move!" Jesper spoke loudly, addressing the group of friends. "Now get out of our house!" Wylan slapped him across the arm. "Please and thank you." Chuckles were heard amongst them as they all walked out, wishing the two farewells and statements of luck.

~

"What's wrong?" Kaz asked as they took their coats off and settled back into their shared room. Y/N froze for a split second before continuing her way to the bathroom, "Nothing. Why'd you ask?" She could feel his eye roll directed to the back of her head as she splashed her face with some water. Sighing, she dried her face and walked to their bed, throwing herself down dramatically. "You ever wish we could just freeze time?"

Kaz looked at her with a small fond smile, "Yes."

"I wish I can freeze time and we can all just stay together. No Jes and Wy moving out. No Inej and Nina leaving. No..." She shook her head to get rid of her last thought. She still couldn't talk about their lost friend. "'Cause soon we're all gonna be gone and only see each other during summer if even that."

"We've grown up, and we all have to go our own ways eventually. You knew this."

"I know! Is it so wrong just to wish I can have a few more moments with everyone?" She didn't mean to raise her voice so she took a deep breath, "Just go back and not worry about what's ahead of us all. Who knows what could happen to Inej and Nina."

Kaz thought through his next words, not wanting to upset her anymore and understanding where she was coming from. Ever since they first met Y/N's had a sense of youthfulness about her that never seemed to leave. Throughout the years, the part of her that never wanted to grow up stayed with her.

It would annoy Kaz to no end but eventually, he grew fond of it, no matter how hard he tried to fight against it, it helped him stay present in certain moments. Moments he would've missed and later on regretted if he would've stayed locked up in his office but came down to join the crew with Y/N. She was the best of him and he tried everything in his power to protect her, but this was something he couldn't and it killed him.

He looked back at her and sighed when he noticed the tears forming in her eyes. He walked to her side and sat beside her. She looked at him, sat up, leaning her head on his shoulder, and cried. They sat there in silence, Kaz just holding her as she cried.

Y/N eventually came to terms that there was nothing she can do to stop time and she just needed to accept growing older. And she would, but she just needed a good cry first. She needed to feel heard, understood, and validated. She wasn't fearful or childish, she was just content with the stage of life they were in. She didn't want anything to change. She wanted the beautiful childhood they had created for themselves, but she'll learn that growing up brings a new type of beauty.

A new type of beautiful that she'll experience with her loved ones in a new way. A type of beautiful that she'll grow to be content with as well.