Forced

14 - Awful Souls

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. ~Phil Donahue

Luke's POV

I walked into a store, it was probably two in the afternoon. I had picked up several bottles of pain-relievers. To help the constant headaches I had. When I checked out the woman looked at me with confusion.

"Hey..Aren't you Luke Hemmings?" She asked when she saw me. I flashed a smile.

"Ah, no ma'am. You must be confusing me with someone else." I smiled politely. I had done that every time someone asked if I was Luke Hemmings. I did not want to be known as that man anymore.

"Huh, well my bad." She smiled as she bagged the pills and I walked out of the store. Shoving the back into my coat pocket. I had no idea where I was going, I would wish to wander around slightly. But I did not want to run into anymore people. Asking if I had cheated on Michael. I always said that I did not; as Ashton had advised me.

I let out a sigh as I ran a hand down my face.

"Luke!" I heard someone yell my name. I turned to see Calum standing behind me with Ashton on his right. I was wide eyed. I was especially shocked as Calum threw his arms around me and started crying, in the middle of public.

"C-Cal!?" I squeaked.

"I am so sorry.." Calum sobbed on my shoulder. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. We went too far, I am so sorry.."

I smiled slightly as I pushed Calum back so I could see his face. I shook my head slowly as I wiped his face. "It's alright."

"No it's not." Calum sighed. "I'm sorry, I am."

"I get it." I nodded. "I really do understand that you are apologizing. And I forgive you, even when I shouldn't."

"I know and I'll be grateful for it for the rest of my life." Calum smiled. "Are you alright?"

I nodded. "I'm going to go talk to Ivan." I had spent much of my time with Ivan after that incident a week ago. He would just constantly get me drunk and was nice enough to let me cry in his office without babying me or getting annoyed with me. I was also there to help him make decisions, he appreciated that.

"Want us to come with you?" Ashton asked and I shook my head. Ashton nodded, as if he understood what this would be about. Even though he did not.

"Tell Michael I said hi." I sighed as I turned and walked away from the two boys. I kept my eyes cast down towards the sidewalk. I was slowly making my ways towards Ivan's office. The only chance of me walking faster was when I was approached by other's asking about Michael and I.

It was always about Michael. Michael was some god to the world. I was nothing more then a rat. The worst part about it is that Michael treated himself like a god. He was only concerned with himself.

And I had no idea why I liked him the way I did.

Hell, I still like him all the same.

I keep reminding myself that this is my fault, that Michael did not do anything, it is my fault. Not his, mine. Just keep saying that. That will make everything better when I go to apologize. If he would only give me the time of day for once.

I finally reached Ivan's office and walked up the stairs instead of the possible interaction with other's in the elevator. I reached the door and saw Manny outside. He gave a sad smile to me, which I returned, before walking into Ivan's office.

"Hey Luke." Ivan said without even looking at me. "How are you today?"

"The same as yesterday."