Forced

35 - The Pier

Sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eye. ~H. Jackson Brown Jr.

Michael's POV 

*One Month In Advance* 

I sat outside on a sunny day, we had been on vacation for maybe two weeks and we were all enjoying ourselves. Calum and Ashton were swimming in the pool and Luke was sitting next to me in the shade, talking to his mother on the phone. 

"No, mum, I swear." Luke laughed. "Yes I'm sure." 

As I looked at Luke I slowly recalled memories through my head. 

"Luke, listen here, I don't like you. Okay, you need to remember that I don't like you." 

"I'll remember." 

I had no idea why I was so sour then, I guess I really did always slightly like Luke as more than a friend. I just did not want to be forced to realize the fact. The whole concept made me..feel off. 

"Cause this is isn't going to work out. Someone's going to get hurt and it's going to be Luke." 

Grateful, I am that it did work out. But I was right about Luke getting hurt. I hurt him awfully bad and made a lot of choices that looking back on, I regret terribly. 

"Yeah I'll be honest that wasn't the best thing to hear, but honestly Luke seemed more upset about it then I am, and it's his own damn fault."

"What are you going to do when he comes back?" 

"I'm going to tear him apart." 

I did do that, I totally tore Luke apart when that happened. Instead of being understanding like I should have, I lost my mind and I messed him up, more than I should have. I should never try to teach anyone a lesson, it just gets out of hand and I had to learn that the hard way. 

"See, I still have you. I like it." 

"Why are you doing this to me.. Why are you doing this!? I can't do this anymore.." 

I practically winced at that memory. I hated the fact that I pushed Luke so far that he would ever want to hurt himself in any way, let alone give up on life. I only wanted him to feel pain like I know I did deep down inside, but all I did was hurt myself. 

"Luke, I'm sorry.. I'm a bad person, I know. I'm sorry though. Please don't do that again. I-I love you so you can't do that." 

"W-What..?"

"I-I love you?" 

"You-You either do or you d-don't." 

"I do. I love you, yeah, I love you." 

I remember how scared and frantic I was after that. Seeing Luke in that state of pills and vomit was never something I would imagine I would see. What was worse was the aftermath, of having to clean up the mess I made, but it seemed as if I would never actually get it clean. Especially after my ignorance. 

"I didn't think I was actually hurting you.." 

"What did you think you were doing?" 

"Well..Just not that badly. Why didn't you say something?" 

"I shouldn't have to." 

"Okay, that's true." 

I remembered how cold Luke got to me after that, he wanted nothing to do with me. I almost wanted nothing to do with myself. If I could not have Luke, then I guess I almost ran out of my purpose. I was trying to fix my mistake, but he should have never forgiven me.