xix - his lily, her angel; his boo, his bee

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Ivory – xix ; His Lily, Her Angel; His Boo, His Bee

Created: 06.17.22

Finished: 06.18.22

Edited: 08.28.22

Published: 08.30.22

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Trigger Warning: mentions of death and revival, fading??, breakdown

Word Count: 2393

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It's cold out here.

The kid keeps himself under wraps of the Snowchester coat Tubbo lent him. It seems that he forgot to retrieve it, well..at least Tommy has something to remember him by.

It's better if he has the other thing that is also important to him..he doesn't really remember where it is now.

No matter, he clutches the coat tight and eyes the starry sky full of colourful northern lights. This in particular really made Tommy realise that he's finally out of that cave, out of that darkness.

For some reason, although he's alive, he still believes he's in that hellhole. The only thing that makes it apart is his presence being around or not. If he could hear or see something, he must be alive, if not, he's dead again.

That works right? Why should he think about it now? He's out of it, and he's safe.

It doesn't feel like he's really out of the danger though.

Regardless about the fact that he's protected by one of the most powerful people in the server, he knows well that he would do whatever it takes to get him, hurt him, and finally kill him-

He blinks at the thought, clenching his fist, no...no no no no he doesn't want to die again.

If he's in his normal self, he'd probably flinch and start palpitating badly. That's what he acted when he lost all of his canon lives and was revived, as he attempted to recall.

'I don't want to be killed and be revived anymore.'

That's some thought that happened to have crossed his mind. He wasn't sure if it was his or not, but it was something.

Relaxing his trembling fists, he opens them and looks at them intently. They're freezing, full of scars and bandages. Did he not put on gloves?

Anyway, there's more where that came from. It's almost funny. But this, being able to see his hands, to be able to feel cold...he's alive.

He no longer knows what it feels like to be..him. Tommy. That name they keep saying at him. It doesn't feel real.

Is it because he's detached to it, or there's still that sense of disconnection?

Well whatever it is, he doesn't want to feel it.

He doesn't want to?

Yes, he doesn't want to feel it anymore.

Would he ever feel complete?

"Hey, mate. What are you doing out here? It's freezing."

Someone comments from behind to which Tommy looks back to see Philza. Grinning softly, he comes forward and stands beside the kid, eyeing the view,

"Getting some fresh air? It's nice, isn't it? There's been some fuckin' blizzards lately..it's nice to experience being in the eye of the storm." He remarks, inhaling and exhaling the winter wind.

Tommy looks at him before watching the surroundings in front of them. Although it's nothing much but a pile of snow, there are northern lights brightening the land, dimly..He couldn't help but to find it-

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