Ivory - An Eburnean Tommy AU

(PLEASE READ SERIOUS ANNOUNCEMENT)

tw: sensitive topics, controversial statements, mentions of abuse, ass/ult, etc. SUPPORT VICTIMS<3 (you may skip down there..below the line.)

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I said I'd come by soon.

So I'm sorry to those that have waited.

I will admit I really don't want to come back here.

I don't really know what to do anymore.

In light of..everything.

I don't know if you guys are curious on who am I siding..who am I truly supporting.

And most importantly, is that if I'm going to keep writing this book. Or not.

Is that what you guys like..waiting right?

I don't really know what to feel.

When I heard about the news, about what he did, and the confirmation.

It felt really unreal.

I wanted to get rid of everything that reminds me of what happened, and it includes this. I don't want to process, I want to live.

And it hurts, that I'm actually affected by this, and I've been pretending for so long that it doesn't. Why am I affected when its just a bunch of people online, its not my story, its not about me.

It's not drama.

Its abuse

Its real, and it sucks.

It's not being parasocial.

An artist - particularly a fanfic writer, who dwells on existing characters will understand how one can be so immersed in dealing a character with accuracy and authenticity.

Its not that easy to just 'support the art, not the creator'.

It's not that easy to just fall into detachment.

When I have hyperfixated, psychoanalyzed, and fully immersed with his character for years.

All for that, all for that fantasy..to be but a potential reality, sickens me. I have written about him being an asshole, and how he doesn't mind consent nor boundaries.

The fact that I have written that what he could be doing, not just in character, but in real life, sickens me.

He has hurt someone.

He has hurt so many people.

When I heard about what happened, like, before confirmation, I held out hope. In the back of my mind its like..its most likely him, but you know, no one really expected for it to be him him. But of course, I waited to give him a chance to speak - and he did. And gods how the end result to disappoint me.

People idolized him, placing an image over who he truly is. Like his tales, he's really good with playing a character, a character that I am still attached to..and it's annoying.

I don't support what he has done.

Obviously.

I might no longer support William, and whatever that he might do in the future.

But I'm sorry if I'm still going to come back to the character that I still fall for.

The Wilbur Soot that I admire.

The image that he made us see, and believe..and trust.

One of the few that can make my back straight.