DOMINO - Eustass Kid x Reader

CHAPTER TWENTY: Can't Stress Enough

(Note: [ ] are whispered words that Paulie cannot hear)

*Cuh-lick!*

Paulie: "You have great timing. I just started my break."

(Y/N): "I know. Look behind you."

Paulie: "....................You're horrible."

(Y/N): "But you love me!"

Paulie: "Yeah yeah, don't remind me. Anyway, how are you doing? Not still gallivanting with those sea dogs, I hope?"

(Y/N): "Don't call your future brothers-in-law sea dogs, Paulie. That's rude."

Paulie: "Try all you want to stress me out. I started meditating. Your days of psychological torture are over."

(Y/N): "Even if I said I almost got tag teamed by over three hundred military men last week?"

Paulie: "....Very funny."

(Y/N): "No, for real, it was actually terrifying."

Paulie: "Your jokes are getting darker."

(Y/N): "No joke, I'm being one hundred percent serious. Here, even ask my bro. Oi, I almost got defiled by like an entire army, didn't I?"

Killer: "[Wait, don't drag me into thi-] Yes..."

Paulie: "WAIT WHAT?! HOW THE HELL DID THAT HAPPEN?! AND WHO IS THAT?! WHO ARE YOU?!"

Killer: "I'm Ki-"

(Y/N): "-pper! My good friend Kipper!"

Killer: "That's not my-"

(Y/N): "Kipper says hi! [No I don't] Anyway, nevermind about all that. I have a present for you and Galley-La, so you'll be getting an Albatros delivery within the next few weeks."

Paulie: "Oh no, we are not glossing over that, (Y/N)!"

(Y/N): "Ugh, fine. I got dared to do a stupid thing, ended up in the middle of a remote military barracks and nearly got pounded to death in a sexy un-sexy way. Happy? Now, about that present-"

Paulie: "WHO WOULD DARE YOU TO DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT?! I'LL KICK THEIR ASS! ARE YOU OKAY?!"

(Y/N): "That meditation thing isn't really working for ya, is it, buddy?"

Paulie: "This is serious! For one second, quit acting like a child and think about how badly you could've been hurt! Or worse!"

(Y/N): "I know, Paulie. I won't let myself be put into a situation like that again, and neither will the crew I'm with. Believe me, they've let me know that."

Paulie: "It wasn't them that got you into that mess, was it?! If it was, so help me, I'll-"

(Y/N): "No! No, it was a completely unrelated individual with absolutely zero connection to the people currently on this ship!"

Paulie: "I swear if you're lying to me..."

(Y/N): "I'm not! They saved my dumb ass! Look, even ask Kil-Kipper!"

Killer: "Quit shoving that thing in my face...Tch, yes, we got her out of there. As you can tell, she's back to her usual self. [Stop making me talk to him]"

Paulie: "I guess a thanks are in order, then...Are you sure you're okay, (Y/N)? How close of a call was it? You can't just spring something like that on me and expect me to stay calm."