CHAPTER SIXTY FOUR: Selfish Passion

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***KILLER POV***

I had never really viewed myself as a greedy man.

From a young age, everything I had done had been for the sake of somebody else, their health, their wants, their livelihoods. Nothing had been purely for myself.

That was why I was completely out of my element as I carried (Y/N) through the threshold of my room, kicking the door shut behind me without unlocking our lips.

Just this once...

I could do this one thing for myself, couldn't I? Would it be such a bad thing? I wasn't taking advantage of her, and, technically, I was also following Kid's orders. Did it really make it okay?

(Y/N) refused to let go when I tried to drop her onto the bed, her hands tugging purposefully at my shirt whilst her legs, still tightly wrapped around my hips, made the futile attempt to wriggle my belted jeans out of the way.

"Slow down..." I mumbled against her lips, hands sliding to untangle her from my frame without making it seem as though I was pushing her away. "I'm not goin' anywhere..." I wasn't. Not this time. I was only human, I couldn't pass this opportunity up again.

Just once, for the first time in fourteen years, he doesn't exist. Just for tonight...

Finally, after a lot of kissing and coaxing, (Y/N) allowed me to set her down upon the sheets, patiently impatient as I looked down at her. She was a rough kind of beautiful, the kind I had always been so weak to, and I was finding that each moment made it harder and harder to hold back.

"Promise you're not going anywhere?" She kept my eyes locked with hers as she questioned me, reaching to unlatch the buckle of my belt. My fight or flight was at war, which wasn't something I was used to. Battles never really scared me, but something about this, her love, had me feeling completely vulnerable.

"Yeah...I promise..." My voice betrayed me, proving just how distracted I had become, watching her part my belt and unbutton my jeans, sliding the zip down at a pace that had me internally screaming for more.

Over the past months there had been so many dreams starting just like this, and in that dreamscape I had always known exactly what to do. This time, however, in this reality, all I could do was stare, frozen solid as she exposed me.

My erection sprang out and tapped the side of her face, and even that split second of contact was enough to harden it even more. (Y/N) smiled up at me, beginning to nuzzle up against it, completely short circuiting any remaining cells in my brain.

"Can I..?" God, she was adorable. She knew she hadn't needed to ask, but hearing her do so was music to my ears. Awkwardly, I nodded, suddenly wishing I had my helmet on hand so my embarrassment could be hidden away.

Her tongue, flat against the curved underside of my cock, had me flinching like nothing else, electric thrills pulsing up the length of my spine, until it all escaped in a rush of air when she took me into her welcoming mouth.

Is this really happening? This isn't just another surreal dream?

No, I could feel everything. The warmth of the inside of her mouth, the plush caress of her tongue, seeking every nerve and gracing it with affection. I doubted I had any blood left anywhere else in my body. There was a rush of pride in seeing that she couldn't take my full length, her right hand moving to the base, pumping me along with the bob of her head.

"Fuck..." I cursed, low and through gritted teeth, praying that my body wouldn't get ahead of itself and spill into her mouth before we had even truly begun. (Y/N) peered up at me through her lashes, those eyes of hers analysing me, seeking direction. It was almost too much.

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