Office Hours |h.s|

seventy four

Harry

Without fail, at the end of every semester I'm met with an inbox full of students begging me for extra credit, extensions, and rewrites, even though I explicitly said in the beginning of the semester that those weren't a thing with me. It sucks having to write them back, saying I can't allow it because I care about these kids a lot, but I have to be firm. I just don't find it fair to the class, plus it's extra work for me and I don't have the time for that.

Taking a break from crushing spirits, I open up a new tab on my laptop. Maude needs a real engagement ring, not some paper wrapper I found in my car at the last second. I want the best for her, she deserves that.

I felt her slipping last night. Hearing her tell me to break up with her broke my heart. How could I just sit there, telling her that we have to take steps backwards in our relationship because someone saw us? I needed to show her that even though we have to hide again, I'm more committed to this, to her, than I've ever been.

Honestly, I thought she would say no. I rushed this, I know, but I figured it was worth a shot. Niall had no right telling me I had to break up with her or else he would tell. He should have been my friend. While I'm grateful he's not going to tell the administration about our relationship, I shouldn't have had to ask that of him. I don't think things will ever be the same between us, which really is a shame because I thought of him as a brother.

Checking my phone again, I frown when I don't see any new notifications from Maude. She texted me yesterday afternoon, which warmed my heart since it was a picture of where we met, but since then it's been radio silence. She won't even pick up my calls.

A part of me is worried about her because of it, worried something may have happened. Maybe she's just nervous someone will see and tell on us. I just keep trying to tell myself that she's just studying for finals and that she already told me she would be a shitty girlfriend while she's in study mode. Fiancé now actually. Still, I send a quick text to check in, hoping to get a response at some point by the end of the day.

I scroll through our previous messages for a bit, smiling softly at a picture of herself she had sent me the other day, before shutting my phone off and turning it over. Back to learning more about engagement rings.

Engaged. It feels weird to be engaged, but not necessarily in a bad way. I mean, does it suck that I can't even tell my best friend that I got engaged at two in the morning? Yeah, it does. I want to propose again, with a real ring, just so that when people ask Maude how I did it, she doesn't have to say we were in a car at two in the morning on a random day in December and that our secret relationship had just been exposed earlier in the day.

I want her to have something to be proud of. A beautiful story that she could tell Cassidy or her mother. One that we can tell our kids one day, and show them how in love we were. Our marriage shouldn't be built on the foundation of secrecy and hiding away. And it won't be. It'll be nurtured with our love.

There are no questions in my mind that Maude is the one for me, in fact, I told her that just a few weeks ago. In a bed in Maine, I told her I wanted to marry her. A part of me wishes that would have been our real engagement, tucked away in our own little slice of heaven. It was scary to admit that to her, just like it was scary for her to hear that. But she finally said yes.

I'm about to turn 35 in two months. It's time that I stop living this bachelor life and settle down with Maude. We're ready for that. Once we're married she doesn't have to financially rely on her family anymore, I'd take care of her. She won't have to live in an apartment and pay rent, she'd live with me. We could buy a new house if she wanted, one that's big enough where we can stay forever. Maybe even a vacation home in Maine. This is good for us.