Office Hours |h.s|

eighty five

Harry

Sitting at my desk at the firm, I have no idea what to expect. In an hour I find out if Maude is actually coming to the final or not. It'll be my first time seeing her since the break up, even though I barely remember seeing her that day. The last time I remember seeing her, I was asking her to marry me.

I should be on my way to the campus already, so I could be there when the students get to the room and so the final starts on time. But here I am again, stuck at my desk. I've been warned that she'll be in class by Cassidy, and that I can't speak to her. I wouldn't want to make her anymore uncomfortable anyway, but I do wish that things were different. They could have been different, if I didn't fuck it up.

Mitch comes into my office, sighing when he sees that I've zoned off yet again. He's been trying to get me at least to focus on jury selection, which is what we spent our morning doing, but jury selection means one other thing, being around Maude's family.

For now, Rodger is the one overseeing jury selection with one of Maude's cousins that I know is graduating next semester. I'm just glad that it's not Lance. Either one. I know that they had offered a spot on the legal team to Maude early on when they took over the case but that she turned it down because we were dating. Plus she just didn't want to work for her father.

As if dealing with a breakup isn't hard enough, now I have to deal with it while also going head to head with her family. Hearing her last name over and over while we fight over which jurors can stay and which have to go is torture. I deserve it though, I did this to myself.

Even though I miss her and want us to be okay, I can recognize how bad of an idea it is to be with her while this trial is going on. During the preparation stages it's easy to forget that her family is prosecuting. The reality is, they are the prosecution, and pretty soon it won't just be her uncle in the room, it'll be her father and more than likely her brother. We're broken up and it's already hard for me to look them in the eye, I'm sure it would feel impossible if we were still together.

Doesn't mean I wouldn't go back in time and make a different choice in a heartbeat if I were given the option.

"Hey, I thought you'd be heading out by now. Last final of the semester and all."

I shrug, pushing my hair back with my hand. "Yeah, I'm gonna go soon... Just, I might see her today since it all happened and I'm not... I'm not sure if I'm entirely ready."

He holds onto the back of the chair in front of me, leaning down against it. "Oh... Hey, maybe you guys could try to talk or something, at least for closure."

"Her friend Will probably won't even let me get close to her. And I get it, I hurt her. I guess I just thought that she would call or come over the next day to check in or demand answers... I didn't think this would be so final."

"Well, her friend Will wasn't the one in the relationship. And if you make an effort to try and apologize and if she wants to talk to you, she is her own person and is capable of making that decision herself. It's ultimately up to her."

I nod, blowing out some air as I lean my head back against my seat. "What did you need?" I just don't want to talk about Maude anymore. It makes my heart race and I get all nervous and I have to at least pretend to be okay before I see her. There's a whole lecture hall full of students that are relying on me to be a responsible professor.

"Oh, I just needed to know if you saw that folder that had the index of what's in evidence? I wanted to make sure we had everything accounted for and I thought I left it on my desk but it wasn't there."

Sitting forward, I rifle through my extremely disorganized desk to try and find the folder. Once I've turned over every file and paper on the desk, I start going through the drawers. "It's gotta be here somewhere..." I mutter.