oh come on | twd

• Promises •

Carl had kept his word. He had sat next to me whilst Jesse's husband had looked at my wound. He had cleaned it, which stung like a bitch. I refused to hold Carl's hand like he had awkwardly offered, instead gripping the sheets below me as well as gritting my teeth.

According to the doctor, Jesse's husband Pete, it had a minor infection. Luckily, it had started healing on its own, but would leave a gnarly scar. Shame, I thought, as if I didn't have enough.

He had given me pain relief, which I thought was silly since I'd made it this far without it, and antibiotics. I hated how after a while others from the group arrived to join me. At first it was just me and Carl, and then after a while Rosita and Abraham decided to come see what the verdict was. Following them was the lost puppy named Eugene and then Tyreese and Sasha. It seemed that everyone wanted to stay in a group, not wandering off on their own and sticking to each other like glue.

I would normally say this was smart, but I hated that everyone seemed magnetised to the infirmary in which I lay in, getting patched up from the annoying battle wound from the hospital. The longer I lay in this bed the more I thought about Beth and Noah, and how greatly I'd fucked them over. Beth would've lived if I'd of just died from that gunshot wound. Daryl wouldn't be as quiet as he is now and Maggie would still have her sister. Glenn would have his best friend and the group would be complete. And yet I'm the one still breathing. The one who still keeps fucking up.

"Take it easy for the next couple days, keep taking those antibiotics and you should heal just fine," Pete smiled and I nodded, swinging my legs over the edge of the bed to hop down.

"You heard the doc, you need to take it easy," Tyreese smiled at me and I shook my head with a small smile.

"And leave you to all the hard work? I don't think so," I tried to joke but my voice was so far from joking that I wondered if he thought I was being rude.

I looked at him to check, and he was in fact smiling. At least someone understood my ways. I felt ashamed at even thinking like this; I wasn't allowed to smile or joke, and I certainly wasn't allowed to care about if I hurt someone's feelings because of it.

It was getting darker now, the sun was beginning to set and Tyreese was walking me back to the house. I hadn't bothered to check where Carl was knowing he was probably hanging out with his new friends, and I knew everyone else would be loitering around the house and such.

I could see Tyreese slow a little bit, and I slowed down slightly myself so I could look back at him. He'd completely stopped now, stood in place with a concentrated look on his face.

"Wha-."

"Amelia, I need you to know that you aren't alone in this, okay?" Tyreese said, looking me in the eyes now, and I stopped myself from plain walking away or rolling my eyes.

"What are you talking about?" I said, repressing the sigh that I desperately wanted to let out.

"You've lost someone, and you're allowed to feel it. I want you to know that you don't have to feel it on your own," Tyreese explained.

"I didn't lose anyone. I know exactly where he is and that's under that tree if the walkers haven't finished him already."

Tyreese looked at me, his expression softening slightly.

"You don't have to feel it on your own," he repeated and half of me wanted to crumble on the floor but the other half was questioning if I'd even be able to cry if I wanted to.

I couldn't even remember the last time I had cried, so was it even possible anymore? It's not like I felt upset or anything. I didn't answer, just stood there for a moment questioning if this was even a conversation I wanted to be having. Maybe I did want to have it; to be told that I was allowed to be upset. But that also meant that it was expected of me now, and I don't want to have to live up to those expectations.