oh come on | twd

• Even More Changes •

I was minding my business in the bathroom when I'd saw it. What was once clean underwear had been stained and I had no idea why. I wiped, and the white toilet paper was now tainted red. I could feel my cheeks flushing with what could've been nerves as I stared at the tissue. Why was I bleeding there? It didn't hurt, and I hadn't injured it.

I looked around at my limited resources. Toilet paper, and the medical cabinet. I decided against using what could be necessary later on for more urgent matters and grabbed a handful of toilet paper. Shoving it down my underwear, I got up and quickly finished my business.

Was I dying? I'd never heard of people bleeding from there. Maybe it was internal and a result of my gunshot wound. I really was dying. The realisation sucked; could I be bothered saying my goodbyes? I loved them, so part of me wanted to, but the other part didn't have the guts to.

I sped walked downstairs. There was no way I was going to the infirmary. Maybe I could steal a medical book from the training doctor Denise and fix it myself. I spun around the corner and came face to face with Daryl.

"Whoa, where ya rushing off to? Ya alright?" Daryl said and I nodded.

He looked at me questioningly. He couldn't know yet. Maybe I could fix this myself and no one would ever have to know.

"Yeah, I'm just looking for Carl," I lied, and he nodded.

"Alright," he huffed.

I could tell he didn't believe me but he didn't push any further. Instead he just let me walk around him and speed down the street. As soon as I was through the door I was met with Pete who just sat there. He didn't even seem like he wanted to be there; as if he was only there because he'd been told to be.

"Amelia," Pete said in greeting.

"Oh there you are! I've been looking everywhere for you," I lied.

"Oh yeah? How come?" He asked, straightening up a bit.

"I was wondering if you had any bandages I could borrow. One of the builders had a bit of an accident, nothing too big," I explained.

"Oh um, sure. They need me to go look at him?" He asked, getting up.

"No, they're okay, just a scratch," I faked a laugh.

He laughed with me, leaving to go to a cupboard. I could see one of Denise's books left open on the floor and grabbed it while his back was turned. I didn't expect him to be done so quickly, so threw it behind me out the open window.

With purses lips, I thanked him, taking the bandages and left. I had to duck under the window to grab the book before making a dash for it. I quickly raced through the house, past a confused Maggie and bound up the stairs.

—————

Reading the book was possibly one of the most confusing things in my life. None of it made any sense. There were too many big words and fancy sentences for me to ever make sense of it. I closed the book and dropped it next to me. I sighed, throwing myself to lay down on the bed.

I had to get it back soon so I stood up. Instantly, I was met with more dismay. The uncomfortable wetness between my legs made me look down and my jaw drop. Blood had soaked through my jeans and onto the bed. It was all becoming very real to me now. I needed help or I would die. There couldn't be room for independence anymore. I needed new clothes. I saw Carl's bag in the corner of the room and made my way to it. Although we didn't share a room, his bag was kept in the corner to save some space.

I grabbed a pair of his jeans and clutched them in my hands. I left the room.

"Maggie!" I called, knowing she was somewhere around the house.

I heard shuffling before she came upstairs. She looked at the clothes in my hands and then lower to my blood stained thighs.

"I think I'm dying," I whispered.

She smiled. She seemed almost relieved, and I frowned.

"It's about time," she said as she gently led me to the bathroom. "I'd been wondering when this would happen, or if it even would."

"What?" I asked incredulously.

I knew I wasn't exactly a good person but I had thought Maggie cared about me in a way where she hadn't hoped I'd die.

"Oh honey you aren't dying don't worry. This happens to all girls," she explained and my mind reeled. "Didn't your mother ever prepare you?"

I shook my head, and withheld my comment about her being in prison. I was pretty sure that eliminated her being able to give me preparation for anything.

"Aw, well it's just a period. I'd sent Glenn to get some products because me and Tara were expecting this at some point," she went into the medical cupboard and pulled out a small box. "So this'll happen monthly. You'll bleed, and then you won't for a bit. It's your body's way for preparing you for a baby."

My jaw dropped. Had I just went in the medical cabinet to begin with I could've saved myself a trip to the infirmary. In fairness though, I still wouldn't have known what to do with them. She continued to explain and I was beyond baffled. This explained my random stomach pains. She explained how by me not eating whilst on the road, it might've messed up my 'cycle' as it had done for her. I was relieved to know I wasn't dying.

"I was so sure I was dying," I breathed out.

She smiled, "well it'll feel like it."

She explained to me how to use the products. Tampons and pads. I was terrified to use a tampon. What if I was never able to get it back out? She told me to stick to pads for now until I got used to changing them regularly so I wouldn't get what she called 'toxic shock' from tampons.

"When we get the chance, we should look for cups instead. It'll save us a lot of runs in the future."

I smiled. She turned around whilst I quickly showered, talking to me and asking me how long I'd had stomach pains. I felt comfortable talking to her, and it actually slightly warmed me knowing her and Tara had been worried about when I'd get it. I got out the shower and wrapped myself in a towel.

"Oh, hang on," she said suddenly.

She left, slipping through a small crack in the door before closing it again. She came back with a small pack of underwear. They looked brand new.

"Tara got these on the last run. She managed to get quite a few things actually just in case any of us girl's had a problem." She gave me them and turned back around whilst I dressed.

The pad felt weird at first until I wiggled about and it got more comfortable. Carl's jeans were a lot more comfortable than my own. They were baggier, which almost made it easier for my legs to breathe, even though legs can't breathe anyway. I even felt like I looked better in them.

"How are you feeling? Do you need anything? Food?" I shook my head.

"Right, well I'm gonna talk to Tara, let her know you've started so to keep an eye out for more stuff. We won't tell anyone else but don't be ashamed of it, boys might be weird about it but it's natural okay?" She said, to which I nodded. "Glenn's the sweetest when it comes to this stuff. I'm sure if you needed anything and none of us girls are here he'll help you," she said.

I had come to the conclusion that Maggie was amazing. I felt cleaner in both my mind and body after her help. I now knew I wasn't dying and she'd also helped me learn how to look after myself. It made me slightly sad knowing other girls had most likely received this help from their mothers. I wished I had more time with her. I was grateful for Maggie though.

I loved this new family.