Chapter 61

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"Take me to the hotel," I told Michael in the car

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"Take me to the hotel," I told Michael in the car.

"Right you are. Just need to stop at home, miss. There's some forms that need signing."

I frowned. "Everything's gone, Michael. There are no forms."

"From decisions you made while I was overseas," he said evenly. "I'd hate for you to get in legal trouble over small matters from the past."

"Fine," I sighed. "And there's no need to call me miss any longer."

His lips twitched. "You'll always be miss to me."

I smiled a little in spite of myself. "I'm sorry we couldn't make it work," I told him. "I hope this hasn't been one large waste of your time."

"It's the best time I've had in my life. I mean it."

"The rest of your life must have been dull then," I said.

"What about you?" He asked, turning a little. "What's been the best time of your life?"

I thought in silence. And all I could think of was Tommy. The way his arms had felt around me when we danced in Dorset. The way his lips had felt the first time we kissed. The weeks of pent up frustration. His blood beneath my fingers as he bled out in the back of the car. His gentle hands on me in bed, showing me what it felt to love someone.

And then the way he'd show up at every race, infuriated me beyond imagination, a stubborn presence in my life when I was still hurting. He'd teased me, and bargained with me, and looked after me. He'd wiped fox blood clean from my face, and he'd held me in the back of the car while I bled out after being stabbed. He'd begged me not to leave him, more than once.

He'd told me he loved me.

And I'd returned it all by being cold and distant. By being too afraid to love him in return.

Only now did I realise I'd made a mistake. That I'd never be truly happy again without him. Because now that I had nothing, all I wanted was him. I'd be happy with nothing, if it was nothing we had together. With him by my side, I'd sleep on a hay bale for the rest of my life, and it would be better than any sleep on silk sheets alone.

"I need to see Tommy," I whispered.

I needed to explain to him, at least. Whatever he chose to do from there was his choice.

And now I could know for sure. I had no company. No father to piss off, or turn over to the police. No races and no assets.

If Tommy was using me, he'd lost all benefit in doing so. I'd know if he truly loved me or not.

"It looks like he's already here," Michael said, turning the corner to Polly's house.

My stomach dropped at the sight of his car. I was nervous, but this was deeper than that. Another wave of nausea rolled over me. I'm never drinking again.

Michael brought the car to a stop. I opened the door and stepped out, leaving my trunk in the back. I wrung my hands together as we walked through the gentle rain, as Michael knocked on the door.

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