Avengers Imagines Book

A Different Kind of Battle Scar

TW: lots of mentions of SH, like, that's what the imagine is mostly centered around. Reader discretion advised.

Also, there are gendered pronouns used. I'd love some feedback on if you guys want more male or gender neutral readers! I'm up for it :)

Steve's a soldier, he's seen plenty of battle scars over time. He had a few, his teammates definitely have a collection. Point is, he knows what they look like. They were one of the first things he saw on himself and had plenty of times holding teammates hands while they got stitched up.

The point is, he knew what they looked like. What they didn't look like was what he had seen on you. The scars he knew were jagged and rough, in different spots. The ones he saw on you were too perfect; straight lines going down your rib cage.

He didn't know what to do after seeing them. You were just reaching up to grab a glass from the kitchen cabinet. He'd never seen the scars before and by the way you almost immediately tugged your shirt down, you knew he wasn't supposed to.

But he did, and he didn't know what to do. His first thought was to ask you about them but he didn't know how he'd approach it. So, he went to one of his closest friends for advice.

"Hey, Nat, can I talk to you really quick?" he asked. He caught her in the gym as she was taking a water break.

She finished her drink then said, "Yeah, what's up?"

After a quick look to ensure no one had come in, Steve sighed. "I saw something concerning on (Y/n)'s side. They were scars but they were... too perfect to be from battle."

A look flashed across Nat's face as soon as the word 'perfect' came out of Steve's mouth. She bit her lip and took in a deep breath before looking at Steve again. "They're not from battle. Well, not the kind you're thinking of."

Steve tilted his head and brought his eyebrows together in confusion. "What do you mean?" He sat down on a nearby bench, Nat following and doing the same.

"It's a very sensitive topic, one of the more modern day things I haven't wanted to tell you about," she started. "They're called self-harm scars. She did them to herself."

"Why?" Steve immediately asked. He could never imagine doing that to himself, let alone you doing it to yourself. It just made no sense.

Natasha sighed, saying, "I don't know. There are a lot of reasons people start harming themselves, none good. There's stress, anxiety, mental health issues, fears. It doesn't make sense to a lot of people but to the ones who suffer, it feels like the only answer."

He couldn't sayin anything after that. He didn't know what could have made you feel such a way to do such a thing. But like Nat said, maybe it's just because he hadn't any personal experience with those thoughts and feelings.

"Should I talk to her about it? I want her to feel like she's got people here for her because she does."

There was a pause as Natasha thought for a second. She knew you well enough, but you and Steve were closer. Maybe that closeness would help you feel more comfortable and willing to open up. Maybe Steve could help out.

"If you do, it's gotta be gentle and very caring. No questions like 'why' or anything related. This is a sensitive subject and you won't understand at first. She'll know that. You just need her to know she's not alone in her struggles, okay?"

Steve nodded. He thanked Nat for her help and decided he couldn't sit on this, he wanted to talk to you about it now. Well, at least start now. If you needed time he'd be okay with that.

You were reading a book, bordering sleep, when Steve knocked on your bedroom door. "Come in," you called, marking your spot in the book and setting it beside you on the table next to your comfy corner chair.

Steve walked in and you smiled. "Hey, what's up?"

He smiled, closed the door, then walked towards you a few steps. Then, after looking around for a moment, he sat down on the edge of your bed opposite of the headboard and awkwardly patted the spot next to him.

You raised an eyebrow but got up and joined him. "You all right?" you asked once you were sat.

His hands were folded in his lap and he looked at them. How was someone supposed to just start talking about this? Nat made it very clear this was sensitive and he didn't want to freak you out or scare you off. But you two were close, you felt like a younger sister to him, maybe that would help make this situation more comfortable?

"Earth to Steve?" Your shoulder nudged his arm and he fell out of his thoughts and turned to see you smiling at him. "Come on, what's going on up there?"

Unable to resist your own smile, he gave one back. "I... I noticed something earlier and I wanted to check on you. See if you were all good."

You tilted your head. "Well, depends on what you saw?" You had no idea what he was referencing.

Steve sighed and moved his hands around in the air as he tried to gather his thoughts. After a patient moment of silence, he dropped his hands and decided to go straight to the point. "Earlier when you were reaching for a glass for water, your shirt lifted and I saw..." He didn't want to outright say it so he gestured to his own ribs and hoped you got it.

By your face, you definitely did. You didn't look horrified, like he thought you might. Instead, it looked sad and somewhat disappointed. "Oh, yeah, I get the buildup now."

He felt bad the second your smile was gone. "I'm sorry for bringing it up, I just wanted to make sure you were okay. To let you know I'm always here and there's always a shoulder for you to lean on. It's a pretty big shoulder, too, so you'll fit just fine."

You chuckled at his mission to lighten the mood once more. "Thank you, Steve. I'm not surprised someone eventually found out..." You trailed off, not knowing where to go from there.

To try and make you more comfortable, Steve pulled you into a side hug and rubbed your arm. You took him up on the shoulder offer, too. "I wasn't in a great place for a long time. It lasted a long time, too. It was only after we started getting closer I found reason to stop. You're like a big brother to me, you know. The one I never had."

Steve smiled and leaned his head on top of yours. "And you're like my little sister. I'm sorry you were going through a hard time. If you ever want to talk about it sometime, I will happily listen and hand you tissues and water. But I'm glad you trusted me to tell me."

You smiled, too, and closed your eyes for a moment. "Seven months. That's how long it's been since I've held the razor blade. That's when we hung out that day when it was just us. Thank you."

The tears in his eyes were begging to be freed, but Steve pushed them away and settled for gently squeezing you in the side hug. "You're the brave one for finding the reason to stop."

Hours later, Sam found the two of you sitting, Steve holding you up as you slept.

~Fin~

A/n: I really hope all of this is accurate (if that makes any sense). I've never gone through this and I've only ever heard friends threaten to hurt themselves so I really don't have a lot to go off of, but I wanted to do a sweet little thing for people who may need it. Please let me know if I need to change anything to make it more appropriate or anything!

Also, I'm realizing more and more that I struggle to come up with a solid ending for my imagines because everything feels crappy to me but I also can't go on for another thousand words trying to end it so I'm sorry if the ending feels wrong/rushed.

Love you beauties so much and if you ever ever need someone to talk to or to just listen while you let it all out, please reach out to me. I'm not a licensed doctor/therapist, but I'm an ear that's willing to truly listen.

Bye Lovelies!!!!!!!!!