Avengers Imagines Book

WinterWidow

A/n: this is request by:  Apologies, I kind of forgot about this but then saw it again! And I hope it's okay given the long wait :)

Having Bucky around the tower was weird for everybody, but in different ways.

Steve wanted his best friend back, but that guy had been gone for several decades.

Tony, despite having forgiven Bucky, still had that moment every now and again where he'd remember what happened, and couldn't be in the same room as him.

Wanda felt connected to Bucky, considering they're both former Hydra weapons. Yet, they were so different at the same time.

For most everyone else, they just didn't know the former Hydra assassin and didn't know how to get to know him.

Then there was Nat. She knew Barnes was still getting his memory back, and was waiting for when he'd come to her. While she didn't know when that would be, she was ready anyways.

She also didn't know why he'd come to her. To fill in blanks? To reminisce? This was something she didn't know how to be ready for, but at least she could anticipate it.

It happened on a pretty boring day. Most everyone was out of the tower, whether for missions or for personal time. Natasha was hanging around the tower going from room to room in an attempt to keep herself entertained. There's only so much training a girl can do before she can't move her limbs anymore.

It was when she was sitting in the kitchen, eating some lunch as she thought about what else to do.

"Natasha?" She looked up from her phone to see Barnes's hesitant figure peeking around the doorway.

Here it was. "Hey, what's up?" she asked, setting her phone down on the counter. Of course she knew what was up, she just didn't want to freak him out by being prophetic or some shit.

He walked into the kitchen and took a seat at the table across from her. "I... I can't remember it completely, but I see you in flashes. In my mind. Mostly at night, when I'm relaxed enough to really think. But I don't... I can't fully remember."

She set her food down and took a drink of water. "Lucky for you, I do remember, and I can fill in gaps."

"Should you?" he asked. Natasha knew the real question he wanted to ask.

Did I hurt you?

Natasha just nodded. "Anything that helps, I want to do. And everything you did was the Winter Soldier, not you," she prefaced.

With it, however, grew a heavy feeling in Bucky's stomach. Having to start with something like that... it gives him an idea of what he did.

"How bad was it?" he asked, his voice full of pain and regret.

"You trained us in the Red Room. Only when we were older, though. After the ceremony but before we did intense missions. Dreykov..." saying his name made a shiver crawl down Natasha's spine, "he saw the potential we had. He decided we should be considered for missions together."

"Did I hurt you?" he asked.

Natasha didn't answer right away, trying to chose words carefully. After a second, she said, "It wasn't you."

"So that's a yes," Bucky said, defeated. Of course he shouldn't be surprised- and he isn't- but that doesn't make it any less hard to hear. Despite how anyone tries to sugarcoat it.

She knew this would be a tough conversation. But Nat still hated seeing him look so dejected. So... depressed. "You didn't have a choice, Barnes- Bucky. No one in that place did. What matters is how we handle it after. You know?"

He took in her words, nodding along as she said them.

"You were nice." Those words caught him off guard, and Bucky snapped his head up to look at her. "Even if it wasn't obvious. Little things, like holding an arm out to make sure I didn't fall off the edge of a building. Or making sure I was in the lead so I wouldn't fall behind. Doesn't matter if it was for 'the good of the mission,' it was still nice."

Bucky smiled, taking a small ounce of comfort in those words. "That's almost nice to hear," he said, chuckling at the end.

Nat smiled, seeing that everything she said wasn't all bad. "I need you to understand something, okay?" she asked.

He nodded, adjusting to face her fully.

"You are not who you used to be. You're not Sergeant James Barnes. You're not the Winter Soldier. You are someone new, and it's time you start believing that. Because then maybe, just maybe, you'll learn to forgive the Winter Soldier and understand he isn't you."

The words weren't completely unfamiliar to him, but it was the way Nat spoke, how she left no room to argue, that had Bucky truly believing them this time.

He wasn't the Winter Soldier, but he also wasn't the man before the Soldier. He was a new person with a hectic past. But it didn't define him. Nor did it give him excuses.

"Thank you, Natasha."

She smiled and gave him a small nod. "Of course. I think you need to stop worrying so much about what you did and start focusing on what you're going to do. It'll help you heal faster."

Others, he'd brush off. But she had her own "hectic" past. This was experience she was speaking from.

So no, Nat wasn't surprised when he came to her. Because, she had been preparing. She knew what words he'd need to hear.

~Fin~

A/n: Ahhhh I feel like this is shit but I'm just gonna have to roll with it. At some point I will learn how to vibe with my work schedule and get to writing more. I have thoughts and ideas, I just need to get the motivation and the time.

Thanks for reading and for being patient! Hope to see you guys come back next week :)

Bye Lovelies!!!!!!!!