Restitution: The Pit In Trying [Yandere!Shoto Todoroki X Reader]

8 - Like One, Hate One

The bus ride back to town was a quiet one. Todoroki had you sleeping on his shoulder again--he wouldn't pull out his phone in fear of waking you up but based on the black sky he could see through the window, he'd guess it was somewhere around 2 am. You'd fallen asleep in the middle of playing with his left hand and still had a light hold on it. He didn't even consider moving it; Todoroki was perfectly happy with your position.

He wanted to make sure to fully bask your company before the bus got to everyone's agreed upon spot to meet and separate. It bothered him that his mind was going against his plans.

Todoroki was distracted. The silence and comfort he'd had for the past hours ironically made his mind go uneasy with a rabbithole of thoughts. Sure, his distraction was you but the thoughts that came along were something he wasn't as willing of think about.

Dots were trying to connect in his head and he ignored them fully as best he could, not because they bothered him but because the irony in it would be disheartening.

Some facts he could to admit in a second: he'd been taken by your friendship right off the bat, he looked forward to seeing you as much as possible, and he thought too much of the one kiss on the cheek he'd gotten from you.

The ones harder to admit: Him wanting a kiss on the cheek had less platonic intentions and the degree of it was even more concerning.

He was honest with himself and could therefore admit the fact itself: his feelings for you were developing into something else. It was the best way to explain his behavior. That itself would be something to deal with as someone who had no experience but it wasn't even the biggest problem.

You'd had feelings for him almost half a decade ago. It was the main thing in his mind because it was the biggest slap in the face; you didn't try to hide it throughout your new friendship because you were that convinced about how purely platonic your intentions were nowadays.

Five years ago you confessed and he rejected you without a second thought; now he was desperate to even see you. You'd given him a friendship he'd become fond of in a second, fond enough for him to put it on a pedestal that was beyond a traditional friendship.

It was far too late to act on it. Thankfully it wasn't anything that had grown out of control--if anything, it was likely just as much of a passing crush on you as you'd had on him. All he had to do was supress enough it for those feelings to go away with the passing of time.

Though of course the optimistic part of Todoroki's brain tried looking at it with a better light. Perhaps you having feelings on him in the past meant there was an inkling of that which he could try to reignite. The realist part was quick to shut that down.

What kind of experience did he have for him to pull something like that off?There was only one thing he could do without a problem when it came to you and it was appreciating your small tokens of affection, platonic or not. As the only thing he could do, his brain committed fully to it.

It was why his feelings didn't know what to do with themselves when you weren't with him and therefore not giving him the chance to do at least that.

Maybe if he talked to someone about it he could figure it out. Midoriya was the most trustworthy option but at the same time, the green-haired man had been stuck in his own crush since the time in which you had your crush, so maybe not.

The bus stopped and its motion pulled you away from him and forward. Todoroki panickedly grabbed onto your arm and pulled you back to prevent you from hitting the seat in front face-first but the sudden handling brought you back to consiousness. You blinked as you regained your surroundings.