Restitution: The Pit In Trying [Yandere!Shoto Todoroki X Reader]

34 - Ambience

You hadn't slept in your own bed in what felt like years. It'd been too cold in there, presumably because of the faulty AC, and your solution had always been to snuggle with Todoroki in his own room.

It felt cold now too but you were sure temperature had nothing to do with it this time. You also hadn't talked to Todoroki in two days.

How the hell did everything change so suddenly? You hugged your blanket tighter as you remembered how he'd reacted when you said no.

He'd gotten quiet. So, so quiet that for a moment, you could've thought you weren't as safe with him as he always assured you. Your heart dropped when he finally spoke. Just three words.

'Let's go home.'

Let's go home? He didn't question your rejection, insist, or berate you. It didn't seem like the reaction of someone with a kill count.

And if you were spiraling for no reason, what then? Did you mess up your one chance with the man you had feelings for because you let yourself get tricked by a villain? Just thinking of it that way made you spiral even more.

The walk home had been torturous. Neither of you uttered a word. You'd followed him loosely behind, keeping a distance in your own panic but unlike the worst parts of your mind imagined, he didn't once do anything against your rejection.

Tears welled up in the corners of your eyes because on top of all that, you were still thinking about Bakugo. You wanted nothing more than to go back to the time he'd begrudgingly let you cling onto him, muttering obscenities that you both knew he didn't mean.

There were two possibilities: Either Bakugo was dead and his blood was on Todoroki's hands or Dabi was psychologically torturing you. You wanted nothing more than for it to be the latter.

Your soul left you at the soft knocks at your door. You couldn't muster the will to move and after tense silence, Todoroki spoke up,"Is it okay if I come in?"

I don't know.

Were you ready to face him? You had to eventually. Your voice came out weak, probably a result of not using it for so long,"Y-Yeah. Come in, Shoto."

The door's creak caused your stomach to churn. Your eyes were probably red and puffy and he'd likely question you about it but as you looked over at him, you froze. His looked exactly the same.

Todoroki took a seat at the end of your bed. That's when you noted the familiar bundle of flowers in his hand and you gasped, guilt filling you instantly.

He didn't look your way,"They withered. We didn't put them in a vase before we left."

In a situation like this, flowers shouldn't have mattered so much. But that just wasn't you. Flowers already held a special place in your heart and these were personal. You shuffled closer to him and without breaking the solemn silence, extended your hand out for the bundle.

Todoroki didn't comply straight away. He took a second, letting himself look at you for the first time the past few days. It hurt him. Not as much as the very second you'd rejected him but seeing your concern, he pushed that thought aside for the moment and placed the flowers in your palm.

You'd hugged, cuddled, and even kissed with smiles on your faces but the small skin-to-skin contact in that moment felt foreign. You shook the uneasy feeling away before focusing your energy onto the flowers, feeling a small sense of warmth for the first time in a while as the wrinkled brown petals turned lively again. You instinctively directed a smile to Todoroki but he kept his gaze forward, like he was thinking. The smile faded.

Todoroki didn't meet your eyes,"I'm still in love with you."

It wasn't a second attempt. He just wanted you to hear it but the reminder stung. You knew he loved you; he'd gone great lengths to show it and the tears you'd held back all day fought to resurface again. You wiped at your eyes before they could fall.